To See Me Like This
by Sarah Jo Dantess
Summary: Lily Evans despises James Potter, recently lost her lifelong friend Snape, and is trying harder than ever to remain at the top of Hogwarts. But when a devastating illness takes Lily's strength away, she faces her world weak and afraid for the first time.
1. Any Other Morning

The young sunlight stuck its large nose into the sixth-year girls' dorm, intruding on Lily's early morning catch-up on sleep lost from the week. _Why did I have to pick the bed that faces the window?_ she thought sleepily as she groaned and blocked the sunlight with her arm. She blinked and shook her dark red tresses from their sleeping position as she propped herself back on her elbows. _You scoundrel_, she thought towards the sun, _I was enjoying that before you had to come and ruin everything_. Turning herself on her side, she glanced at her clock.

_8:00? Really? So much for sleeping in_. Lily snuggled under her covers and shut her eyes tighter. Yet, as much as she tried to rest, somehow it seemed that the disease of being awake had invaded her system too much already for her to possibly be able to go back to sleep now. She cursed herself silently for thinking thoughts that early in the morning, deciding that that was what had gotten her to wake up.

As long as she was thinking now, she decided to put off getting up and think some more. The first usual thought popped in to say hello: _Hey, Lily! What are you supposed to do today?_ Lily thought for a moment. It was Saturday. So…_read, eat, sleep, finish up on that essay for Slughorn, which, by the way, doesn't need as much effort as usual, Lily. You don't want another invitation to a Slug Club meeting. _Lily rolled her eyes as she recounted how awkward and boring the last one had been. _Anyway, after you mess up your essay, you should perfect those Charms you learned this week. And then you need to patrol for a bit, be a good prefect, of course. Oh, and avoid Potter._

Lily immediately scowled. The annoying toerag who was still repeatedly asking her out was, of course, a seemingly omnipresent being, too. Always looking over her shoulder while she was trying to read, calling out "All right, Evans?" every five seconds, always looking at her in class, always asking her out in embarrassing ways. She almost laughed in disgust, remembering his last attempt. Right after the Marauders had pulled another "genius" prank of theirs, which involved painting the Gryffindor scarlet and gold colors onto all the Slytherin's faces, where it would remain for at least a week, Potter had gotten the nerve to stand on the Gryffindor table and announce,

"Attention, Hogwarts! I hereby dedicate this prank to the loveliest witch in the world, Lily Evans!" he'd shouted, motioning towards her. Her face burned as she leaned her head on her hand and held her peanut butter sandwich up to her face, pretending to be debating on where she should take a bite from it. Even her girl friends couldn't help snorting with quiet laughter into their food.

"Hey!" she hissed at them. "You're on _my_ side, remember?"

Apparently not. Potter had then jumped down from the table and sprang over to Lily's side, and, encouraged by the all-out chortling of her friends, ripped her hand from where her head had been resting on it, got down on one knee and asked dramatically, "Evans, will you go out with me?"

"NO!" she had squealed in a high-pitched tone, embarrassed and annoyed, before ripping her hand away and focusing her attention on her sandwich once more.

Lily shook her head, pushed the memory away, and looked around the dorm. Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadows, Mary Reed, Clarissa Cook, and Hestia Jones were still sleeping soundly. Except for Mary, maybe. She had always been a light sleeper. Lily shook her head and sat up. Yawning, she threw her legs out from under the covers and stretched her entire body out, lying back on the bed and hovering her legs over the carpet. Her arms extended back, and she caught a whiff of her armpits and their current lack of deodorant. "Phew!" she couldn't help exclaiming quietly. _Time for a shower_.

She heard a light stirring as she was peeling her shirt off by her dresser. She looked behind her as Mary, surprise, sat up sleepily and rubbed her eyes before they popped open.

"GAH! Lily! Warn a girl, would you?" she shrieked, shielding her eyes with her sheets. Lily raised her eyebrow and wrinkled her nose.

"Warn you? Come on, Mary, we're all girls. Don't be ridiculous. Besides, you were asleep. What was I supposed to do?" Lily asked, walking over to Mary's bed and poking at her head. "Walk over here, poke and prod at every inch of you until you wake up, and then say, 'Top of the morning, Miss Reed, look out! I'm about to be naked?' No way, Mary, that's way too much work for this hour of the day. I'm just going to take a shower and be as lazy as I want to be, thank you." Lily shook her head and ran a hand through her hair before shaking it out as she walked away to the bathroom.

"You are really weird, Lily Evans! Downright weird, you hear that?" Mary called after her with a touch of laughter in her voice.

Lily chuckled to herself as she took off the rest of her clothes out of Mary's sight. Another groan could be heard that Lily recognized as Clarissa's, and soon Clarissa was complaining to Mary about why in Merlin's name could she not possibly lower her voice on a Saturday morning.

"Lil! Don't take too long in the shower, okay? I've got things to do today!" Mary called.

"Yeah, yeah, Reed," Lily sighed, exasperated, as she turned the shower on.

There was a pause before Mary crossed the floor past the bathroom door and said with confidence, "I don't care for that sass, Evans!"

"Yeah? Well perhaps I'm not too fond of your attitude!" Lily joked, deepening her voice to sound menacing.

"Oh yeah? Well you just get back in that shower right now, and when you come out, drop and give me thirty!" Mary shouted like a drill sergeant.

"SIR, YES SIR!" Lily saluted and bellowed at soldier's tone before giggling and stepping into the shower.


	2. Bleeding Purple

Lily gladly let the hot water run through her hair and down her body. She was extremely grateful for the therapeutic feeling of the pressure pounding on her skin, and allowed it to wash away all the worries that could plague her mind-her prefect duties, her grades, what to get her friends for Christmas even though it was still September, what to do with her hair today, how she might try to fail Slughorn's essay without hurting her grade too terribly, Potter-

She stopped thinking, her fingers weaving through the hair on the top of her head. She frowned and shook her head freely as though shaking the thought of him from her mind. Smiling and humming a Celestina Warbeck song to herself, she continued to allow the water to relax her. _Ahhh._

Lily had just finished rinsing when a strange, jumping sensation gripped her stomach. She didn't like it, and tried to ignore it. Seconds later, the same sensation took over everywhere in her skin. It was like she was getting a severe case of the chills, but she shivered it away and kept washing. All at once, the feeling became stinging, and it was beginning to get worse. It was really starting to hurt. "Agh!" she exhaled shortly, clawing at her skin to make it stop its crawling. As the pain was starting to intensify even a little bit, she looked down to shave her legs, and was shocked by what she saw.

Tiny cuts were appearing all over her body, every inch of her skin boasting one of its own shape and size. The stinging wouldn't go away either; it felt as though she'd been sketching with a blood quill. "Ow!" she yelped quietly. Her eyes traveled up her legs and stopped at her abdomen, horrified by the image they found.

The cuts were bleeding, of course…but not the red blood she had been expecting might spill out of her veins for several minutes now. Instead, a deep, inky, indigo-purple blood was being emitted from the cuts on her stomach. Her eyes darted everywhere else on her body possible, and they too were leaking the same ink-like blood, staining her skin as they did. Bit by bit, the pain bolstered into explosions on the outside of her skin and inside her veins.

"AGH!" she screeched. With a panic forming in her gut, Lily immediately felt like she was going to throw up. Not caring who was in the bathroom, she leapt out of the shower and to the toilet, bending over it. Moments later, the wave of nausea passed, nothing happened, and she wiped the saliva dripping from her lips with the back of her hand and stood up, facing the mirror-

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" she bellowed, terrified at her reflection. She reached a hand up to touch her face. Was _that thing_ in the mirror with the purple cuts on its face _her?_ She looked over herself. Yep, it was, and the eruptions of pain were increasing by the seconds. Quickly she ran back into the shower and shut the water off, leaving her indigo footprints behind. "MARY!" she screamed at blood-curdling volumes, "Ow! MARY! COME HERE, QUICK! PLEASE! MARY!"

The sound of running feet entered the room. "Lily! Are you okay in there?" Mary's voice called in.

_Ohh, she has no idea, _Lily groaned inwardly. She cringed, holding her stomach. "No! Mary, look at me!"

"-but you're naked."

Lily huffed. She had had enough of Mary's fear of seeing her own roommates undressed for one morning. "Get over it, Mary! LOOK!" she screamed, thrusting an arm past the shower curtain.

A small cry was heard. "Lil!" Lily let go of her stomach, allowing that anguish to take over, and yanked her friend inside the shower. "AHH! LILY!" Mary screamed, her eyes bugging and a true look of terror taking the place of her usual smiling face. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I don't know, Mary, I don't know, I don't know!" Lily choked, beginning to cry. "AGH-OWW! IT HURTS!"

"Is everything all right in here?" Clarissa's unsuspecting voice drifted in. "I heard all the screaming and-AAGGHH!" She had opened the curtain and seen Lily writhing on the shower floor, a wet, purple mess. Mary knelt down next to her friend under torture.

"Lily, we have to take you to the hospital wing now! DORCAS-MARLENE-HESTIA! GET IN HERE NOW! Clarissa, you run for Madam Pomfrey, quick! Tell her we need a stretcher," she said, doubting Lily's ability to get anywhere safely for the moment. Clarissa ran breathless from the room as Dorcas, Hestia, and Marlene marched in, and after the initial shock of seeing Lily that way, turned the shower back on, getting all wet themselves, and tried to wipe some of the ink-blood away. Hestia held Lily's hair away from her face as she nearly vomited several times while Mary was fetching some clothes for her. Lily, in a daze and constantly screaming with the excruciating pain, was amazed that her friends could possibly keep their composure. She sucked in breaths through her teeth, trying to stop her hysterical screaming and crying as they helped her into a sports bra, underwear, a giant, old, white t-shirt, and running shorts. As soon as she was into her clothes, she fell into a fetal position around the base of the toilet, still nauseous and bleeding purple ink all over the floor.

Madam Pomfrey and Clarissa arrived shortly and conjured a stretcher. Letting go of whatever was holding her back, Lily screamed and sobbed as she rolled over onto the stretcher. Madam Pomfrey instructed Dorcas and Marlene to carry it behind her while Clarissa, Mary, and Hestia were to fight off rubberneckers all the way to the hospital wing. Lily's vision began to blur as she could do nothing but scream and cry, not seeing the people turn to look at her as they left her dorm and dashed through the common room, out the portrait hole, and through the corridors.

The moment they burst through the doors of the hospital wing could not have come any sooner. Lily was in complete agony and gratefully fell onto one of the beds, hugging her knees. She didn't remember what happened after that, until, it seemed, that a few hours later, her friends were still there, watching her struggle against the burning and slashing that was happening inside her as Madam Pomfrey said a word she didn't understand.


	3. Excruciation and James

"Caemuspureusento," Madam Pomfrey spat. Lily blinked, not understanding. Even being the fantastic student and witch that she was, she could not begin to comprehend the foreign word.

_Work with me here, Pomfrey, it isn't like they offer a course here on medical magic!_ Lily thought, resisting the urge to roll her eyes, which wasn't as difficult as usual because she was in this much pain. "Er…what?" she loudly squeaked instead, grunting and hugging her knees as the sharp, exploding sting shot through her veins again.

Madam Pomfrey said it again, slower this time. "SAY-MUS-PYOOR-EE-UH-SEN-TOH. Don't ask me why they had to combine all four Latin words into that one…seemed they didn't want to anyone to miss that Caemuspureusento is a magical infection caused by a quickly dwindling population of magic insects that cause cuts that bleed a purple ink-like substance to appear in the skin of the infected. It's nasty, Miss Evans. Luckily, you came to me straight away. I should have it all purged out of you by tomorrow morning. You're in for a rough night."

Lily gaped at Madam Pomfrey. She knew not to question the woman; she had little doubt that the school's nurse and Ministry-trained Healer knew exactly what to do. "And after that?" she croaked, ignoring the daggers propelling through her bloodstream for just a moment.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "You'll be in here for about a week, Miss Evans. I don't know why the insects got you or where they've come from, but you can't risk more exposure until a week has passed and we're sure you've got no more attracting symptoms. Come on, now, we've got a long twenty-four hours ahead and it's only eleven this morning. I'll need you to take off your shirt and pants. Cover up with this," she said, tossing a sheet at her and pulling the panels around the bed so she would be shielded from unwelcome visitors.

"Agh!" Lily yelped again as she eagerly peeled her once-white-now-purple old t-shirt off and tossed it aside. She ripped the elastic off her wrist, not caring that it was covered in the inky blood, and threw her now drying and frizzing hair into a ponytail while sliding out of her sweat shorts. Another blast of pain erupted through her legs as she shook the shorts off her feet and ducked inside the sheet. "OW!" she screamed, her voice cracking. "Okay, Madam Pomfrey," she panted, "let's get this over with!"

"Of course, dear. I'm so sorry about this. This is one of the most painful wizards' ailments known to us. You have my permission to express your pain as much as you need to—I need to know how much pain you're still in, so scream if you have to. No holding anything back, is that clear?" she said sternly.

Lily nodded, breathless. "Yes, Madam." After shooing Mary, Dorcas, Marlene, Hestia, and Clarissa away, thanking them for their help, Madam Pomfrey gathered the necessary equipment onto a table beside the bed. She explained the several steps they needed to take in the procedure, and Lily listened to as much of it as she could while shunning the ongoing affliction.

"Let's start now," Madam Pomfrey said, noticing that Lily could no longer listen and disregard the agony anymore. "First we have to slow the cutting before you get cut right open. Drink this," she said, handing Lily a green draught reluctantly. Lily failed to notice her hesitancy and downed the draught immediately, just wanting the pain to stop. She hadn't realized, however, that stopping the cuts would bring on so much more torment than when they first appeared. The daggers became sharper, and the sting intensified to the bite of millions of razor-sharp teeth. Lily gasped and screamed long and hard as the glass of the draught fell from her hand and shattered on the floor.

* * *

><p>James couldn't see what was going on, but from the sound of Lily's blood-curdling cries, it wasn't at all pretty.<p>

He wanted to burst through the hospital wing doors and run to her side, and hope that his presence would be enough to stop her pain. He wanted to cradle her in his arms as she stopped her crying and began to feel better. He dug his fingers into his chest, right where his heart was hurting as the screams reached his ears. Never had he heard someone else in this much pain before, and it was Lily, the one who would never bother to look at him while he couldn't stop his secretive glances. He only wanted to be the one to make sure she knew it would be all right, and more than anything he wanted to know what was happening to her.

Instead he stood outside the doors to the hospital wing, peering in the window, listening to Lily yowling in unbearable torture ceaselessly. _Could it be worse than the Cruciatus curse?_ he wondered, raking his fingers through his hair. He hoped not; he'd hate for his Lily to be suffering that much, but as he listened to her loud sobbing, he had a gut feeling that it could be worse.

And it absolutely killed him.

"Prongs, mate!" Sirius' familiar voice called out to him through the corridor. Unwillingly, he ripped his eyes away from the inside of the hospital wing and glued them onto his approaching friends. Sirius and Remus strode over quickly and stood in front of him. Remus peered inside a bit.

"How is she, James?" he asked. In response to his question, another chilling yell was hurled from inside the wing. Remus drew back a few steps, shock in his facial expression clear. James shook his head.

"Not good," he said. "Did you get Mary to tell you anything?"

Sirius glanced at Remus before sighing heavily and turning his attention back to his questioning friend. "Yes. She heard Madam Pomfrey say-what was it-oh, yes. Caemuspureusento," he spat. James recoiled at the word, his mouth falling straight open. He'd heard it before, all right. His cousin had had it once. He hadn't known it was this bad while it lasted, though.

"_Bloody hell_," he breathed, turning his gaze back inside. Sirius socked him in the arm affectionately.

"Come on, mate, you've been watching for hours. I'm surprised your eardrums haven't fallen out," he joked, trying to lighten the mood. When James didn't respond and continued to gaze through the window, he walked over to his best friend and looked inside, then at James. "Hey," he said, "standing out here by yourself on a Saturday through the whole morning and about to miss lunch isn't going to help Lily. Madam Pomfrey's the only one who can fix this, James. Besides," he added, "I don't think Evans would particularly enjoy knowing that you were spying on her the entire time she was getting all her intestines blown out of her ears."

James' hand came up to slap his forehead, and Remus' followed almost immediately. "Padfoot," he groaned, "for Merlin's sakes, don't say it like that!"

"You shouldn't be so graphic when you don't really know what's going on in there, Padfoot!" Remus explained, frustrated.

"Sorry, mates, I think you both know my capabilities with choosing words!" Sirius said defensively. "Come on, James, before you starve yourself. You can come back later. She'll still be here." James gave in and nodded, tearing himself from the doors and following Remus until they stopped to wait for Sirius, who was staring in the window himself.

James walked over to pull him along. Before he could be dragged away, though, Sirius coughed out, "Merlin's beard. That sounds like it's horrible." James nodded sadly and trailed alongside his two best friends to the Great Hall.


	4. Cure Me With Torture

Around six that evening, Lily was still screaming, though she had nearly run out of screams by then. She was supposed to produce eight buckets of vomit, another step in the grueling process of getting rid of these infectious wizard insects. By now her skin was no longer being cut by the seconds, but they were all over her, making her complexion appear smoky, grey, and ashy. Lily hadn't looked in a mirror yet, but she was sure she'd have burst into tears upon seeing herself. There were cuts everywhere, the little slits stained indigo. There were the indigo footprints, handprints, and stains everywhere from all of Lily's bleeding. She sighed and felt bad, because someone else would have to clean all that ink-blood up.

Now she was being force-fed a vomiting potion. She shoved Madam Pomfrey's hand away one more time and shook her head. "No! I'm not ready, Madam! Please, don't make me do it again!"

"Lily, do you want to stop hurting?" she asked firmly. Lily gasped, still breathless from the last vomit, which had only been round three, and nodded, tears pouring out of her eyes. Grabbing the draught from Madam Pomfrey, she stood up off the bed, walked to the fourth bucket, and drank quickly before emptying her stomach into it. Right away she moved on to the next one, begging Madam Pomfrey to give her another, and threw up into it. Then another, and another, and another, and she was done.

Wiping her mouth with a rag, she barely made it to the bed before losing her balance. Madam Pomfrey caught her and helped her to sit back down, patting her on the back while she regained her breath.

"There, there, Lily, that was great! You were very brave," she beamed. Lily nodded a thanks and winced again. She was still feeling the tormenting pain shoot through her like bullets. She bent over and hugged herself under her legs.

"Ow," she croaked, crying.

"That's okay, Lily. That's okay. We're half done, and the next half is the least grueling, I assure you. Come on, back in bed." Lily obeyed as Madam Pomfrey left the panel and returned shortly carrying a purple potion in her hands. "Lily, this will make you cry and bleed, a lot. It will clear your bloodstream and other passages of any traces the insects may have left. It will open up your cuts again and they'll sting and hurt only as badly as before, dear. Are you sure you're ready to do this right now?" she asked, concern in her eyes.

Lily nodded and held her hands out. "Let's just get it over with." Madam Pomfrey nodded and handed her the potion, instructing her to stand on a few towels and bleed onto them.

"And Lily?"

"Yes?"

"This one's particularly nasty. You have to bleed until it all comes out red." Lily nodded, understanding. She'd lose a lot of blood.

"But-how will I get all the blood back?"

Madam Pomfrey smiled sadly. "That's the stage after this one. Come on, now. You can do this. You've taken it like a true Gryffindor."

Lily managed a smile and lifted the glass. "Cheers," she said before downing the whole thing. She shoved it onto the table as the familiar stings returned and turned into the burning eruptions of affliction she'd experienced earlier. She sank to the floor and tried not to scream, but she couldn't help it. It hurt too much.

* * *

><p>James was back again after dinner and sat on the ledge next to the doors, watching through the windows. He heard retching, screaming, crying, and couldn't take it. After the retching sounds dissipated, Madam Pomfrey had let Lily out from behind the panel one time, guiding her slowly, holding her gently, taking one small step after the other, toward the sink so she could wash up.<p>

James exhaled slowly when he saw her. She had looked so-defeated. Thin, scarred, deathly pale-and yet so beautiful that his heart broke right there. Her very long, red locks were messed up and tied down her back as well as she could manage then. Her bright green eyes were tear-stained, making them appear even brighter. Her eyes were what gave away her dejectedness immediately. They seemed to not see what was in front of her, or what was far away, either. It was as though she could only see the things in life that couldn't be seen-things like memories, feelings, sadness, anything surreal.

She knelt in front of the sink and laid her head on it, allowing Madam Pomfrey to brush her hair out of the way and splash the water on her. She was shaking too much to be able to manage it.

He couldn't imagine someone having been so tortured by a sickness in such a short time span. He wished he was the one taking care of her and nursing her back to health. His fingers flew to his hair again as she lifted her head up from the sink a few moments later, fell down on her knees, and wept into her hands.

_Poor Lily_, he thought, resisting the tears starting to pool in his eyes.

When he arrived back in the common room that night, Lily's friends were sitting by the fire in silence. Oddly, he found Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting in silence with them. Several other sixth-year students were there, and a few from other years as well. He quietly approached the cluster and sank down next to Sirius.

"Has anyone seen her?" a third year suddenly put in.

"I haven't," said Clarissa, sighing sadly.

"When did Madam say it was okay to visit?"

"In the morning."

"How early?"

"I don't know, when the sun's up, I suppose?"

"Might be longer than that, actually," James said. All eyes turned to look at him.

"And how would you know that, Potter?" Hestia questioned. James tugged at his hair and ran his hands through it.

"I walked by, earlier, and she was out from behind the panel. Didn't look so good. I heard Madam telling Dumbledore, too. She said the process would be all done by the morning, and then L—-Evans needed a knock-out draught and sleep," he said quietly, hoping no one would notice the slight blush creeping up his neck. No one said anything for a moment. Mary came over to sit in front of him.

Her eyes were filled with concern and sympathy for her friend. "What did she look like, James?" He sighed.

"Pale…her skin was…grey and ashy, and cut everywhere. She hardly ever stopped screaming and crying, either. I've never seen anyone in so much pain before. She was very thin, too. I think Pomfrey had to make her vomit, because I thought I heard puking in there. She just looked so…crushed. Hurting. Sad. It was…I don't know..."

Mary swallowed and nodded. "Well, thanks, James. I'm glad to know she's at least…fighting it. That's good." She got up and looked to the other girls. "Come on, girls, let's go to bed. We'll see her soon." One by one they got up and followed Mary to the sixth-year girls' dorm, sad that their good friend wouldn't be with them tonight.

Soon it was just James and the Marauders sitting in front of the fire. For about fifteen minutes they sat in silence, taking in what was happening. Then they, too, went up to bed.


	5. Stronger

It was four in the morning, and Lily and Madam Pomfrey were finally finished with the fastidious and grim process of eradicating every bit of poison that the magical insects had leaked into Lily's systems. Lily gladly let herself sink into the soft mattress on the new hospital bed, her previously occupied one and the area around it now covered, inch by inch, in her shed skin, red blood, indigo blood, vomit, and the occasional puddle of perspiration. She winced as Madam Pomfrey left her side and began to scrub the floors behind the panel with the assistance of a house elf named Manny, who eagerly bounced around her mess, cleaning it all with great enthusiasm.

As Madam levitated the sheeting from the old bed and proceeded to magically scourge anything Lily had left, Lily whispered, "I'm so sorry." Her voice came out hoarse, and she wasn't surprised after close to twenty-four straight hours of screaming and loud sobbing had left her lungs and vocal chords shot. She was surprised that she could talk, or that she even had any tears left as a fresh set of them quietly streamed down her cheeks.

Lily was sitting up at an angle so that if she looked forward and didn't move her eyes, she would be staring at the windows just above the beds across the room. Her limbs and torso never moved, because she no longer had the strength to move them. Only her head, eyes, and lips could make any motion. She had the most awful stomachache, her head pounded loudly, sorely, and unceasingly with the beat of her heart, and her entire body, both inside and out, complained of soreness, exhaustion, and weakness. She wasn't surprised.

In a matter of just one day, the insect poison had taken effect with the invasion of her body, and then she had had to suffer even more to make sure it had all gotten out. She'd had to slow the cutting, which required the potion that would attack her even more fiercely than the poison itself. Then she was ordered to work up a horrible sweat that was enough to fill a few cups. In that much pain, the added workout had been excruciating. Then she had to drain her nasal passages with so much saline that it burned a bonfire within her head, and drink ten glasses of a foul-tasting potion that made the outer layers of her skin brittle so that the poison that had gotten to those outer layers would fall off as she shed the skin and not reach her lower integumentary layers. It was after that that she bravely binge-drank all eight glasses of the vomiting draught and practically ripped her own stomach out through her mouth in the process, and drank another potion and bled out all the purple ink-blood until she had lost two whole pints of blood. Surprisingly, she was unable to cry as gallons of overly salty tears at a time flooded out of her eyes to the point that she'd had to cry into a bucket and ignore the horrible sting at her retina.

At midnight, Madam Pomfrey made her work up a sweat again while she was too dizzy to even stand, and then she repeated the entire process, except for the "re-bleeding," because she'd already lost so much blood. As a result, Lily could no longer move from feeling so weak, and Madam Pomfrey carried her around to take a sponge-bath and get off the sweat, blood, vomit, and extra bits of skin that hadn't fallen off so easily. After that experience, through most of which Lily was too dazed to care what was happening, Madam had carried her to this new bed and fed her a small meal to give her some strength back.

Lily felt just like a living corpse, or like a premature newborn, never in her life having been this weak, ill, and helpless. She couldn't possibly walk, and she only wished that she could sleep this whole week away and somehow wake up fully restored with no recollection of the torturing procedure. _But why? I'm Lily Evans, for Merlin's sake! I'm supposed to have it all together! I'm supposed to be a good role model, and this happens to me? _

In response to Lily's apology, Madam Pomfrey came over with a cold cloth and pressed it gently to her neck, forehead, and cheeks. "Don't be sorry, my dear. If anything, I should be the one who is sorry this had to happen to you. You were so brave, Miss Evans. Never in all my years at Hogwarts have I seen anyone take the treatment required for this ailment the way you have. Most people cower, you know. If you ask me, they act like complete babies. But not Lily Evans. Oh, no. You ran right into it. It was as if you'd said, 'Go on, do your worst!' You are so strong."

Lily was silent for a moment, thinking. _Strong? Well, that's one thing I've got together, then, I suppose._ "I've never really thought of myself as strong, Madam Pomfrey," she murmured.

"Well, you did splendidly today, Lily. I thought you ought to know. Because you were courageous, your case isn't as bad as most are. Others usually end up worse off because they were too scared."

Lily nodded slowly. "Well…I…I guess I just wanted the pain to be gone too badly to hesitate," she said through labored breathing.

Madam Pomfrey furrowed her brow into a sad smile. "I suppose that's a very valid reason not to hesitate," she said with a slight chuckle, the dark circles under her eyes becoming clearer to Lily's view.

"Madam," Lily began, ever so slowly reaching up to take the cloth from Madam's hand and lay it across her forehead, "you should sleep. You must be exhausted. Really, I…I'd be fine. Just put me under a sleeping draught and go rest," Lily lied. Madam Pomfrey grinned.

"That's sweet of you, Miss Evans. And I'll give you the aforementioned potion, but I'm going to stay up, dear. I would never have accepted this job offer had I minded the lack of sleep that came with it. I'm not here because anyone needs me or because I have to be here. I'm here because I think that healing is one of the most fascinating and wonderful things in the world, if a bit messy, to say the least," she giggled, eying the waste-covered area with a twinkle in her eye.

Lily looked at the mess and back at Madam Pomfrey, and smiled for the first time since the previous morning when she'd stepped into the shower. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," she whispered genuinely, making herself a mental note to thank the woman in a bigger way once she made a recovery. Madam Pomfrey administered a sleeping potion to the grateful Lily, and not five minutes, later, Lily lay still and soundly sleeping.


	6. Pride & Prongs

James was up the next morning around ten. He got up and quickly got dressed, wolfed down a Chocolate Frog and some licorice wands, and dashed to the hospital wing before Pete, Remus, or Sirius had stirred. He paused at the doors to ruffle his hair before opening one and peering inside.

Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. Making sure the door did not squeak, he stepped inside and shut it, his eyes adjusting to the bright sunlight streaming through the large windows. Holding up his arm to block some light, he glanced around.

The room was unnervingly quiet. He desperately hoped that this wasn't a bad sign as his eyes raked over the front of the room. A house elf had dozed off at the front right side of the room where he remembered the panel was set up the night before. It hadn't been moved, so he silently walked over to investigate behind it.

There was blood everywhere. He looked down at the sleeping elf, who was clutching an equally bloodied rag in his fingers as he slept. James guessed he'd been trying to clean it all up very early this morning. _There was more than all this?_ he wondered, shocked at the massive amount of blood that Lily could have lost yesterday. Among the drying blood were splotches of dark purple ink-looking stuff. James immediately recognized it as whatever Lily had been leaking when she was being carried out through the common room.

He looked around some more. There were several emptied buckets scattered about with bits of what looked like vomit in them. Cautiously, James got closer to one and sniffed. _YUCK! Yep, vomit_, he thought as he grimaced and tried not to cough. He stepped back on something flaky and shook it off his shoe before getting a closer look at it. It looked smoky, flaky-just like Lily's skin when he'd seen her last night. There were tiny cuts in it too, and he realized that this must be pieces of Lily's skin. Before allowing the fear that she'd turned to dust to take root, he guessed she'd had to shed all of it off. He backed out from behind the panel, careful not to wake the house elf, and, instinctively, his eyes darted to the far left corner of the room.

A head of auburn waves and a pale face and pair of arms lay so still on the bed furthest away that he feared for a moment that they belonged to someone who was dead. There she was.

Quietly, he shuffled over and lowered himself to sit on the adjacent bed. She was breathing, he noticed with a sigh of relief. White bandages graced her arms, neck, and head where he supposed the cuts had gotten too deep. Some color had returned to her skin, thank goodness, and her cuts were red, not the purple he'd seen before. She was still thin, and perhaps thinner than when he'd last seen her.

James propped an elbow on his knee and leaned forward to rest his chin upon it. His eyes traveled up her bandaged arm and neck to her face. Even in her sleep, her facial expression seemed to exhibit that nothing was at peace inside her. Her lips were parted slightly, as though she wanted to scream or cry one more time. Her closed eyes looked ready to close even tighter to block out the tears that might try to escape without her noticing. She looked so broken and hurt, the way she had looked the very moment Snape had called her a filthy mudblood when she had only offered him her kindness, undeserving of it as he was. Heartbroken.

"Best not wake her, Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey's voice said quietly. He quelled the exclamation that was rising up in him as he jumped and craned his neck around to face her.

"R-right," he said quietly. "Sorry."

"Stay if you wish, Potter, but do not wake her up until she does so herself." James nodded as Madam Pomfrey turned to finish cleaning up Lily's waste.

"Madam Pomfrey?" he asked. The nurse turned back to him and raised her chin questioningly. "Erm—is she going to be all right?"

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "She'll make a full recovery in about six days. Right now she's just weak. I'm not surprised, either, with all the effort she put in all day yesterday and last night. She has caemuspureusento, do you know what kind of process it takes to get rid of that?" James shook his head and allowed her to keep talking. "Well, mind you, sir, it's a very complicated one. Complicated, but more painful than anything. It's pure torture."

"I know, Madam. I heard her screaming yesterday."

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "See? Though I am quite sure it feels much worse than it sounds or looks, but everything done is completely necessary to rid the body of the infection. Anyway, Potter, you should have seen her take it on. Bravest caemuspureusento patient I've ever had, she is. At several points you've got to work up a few vials of sweat, see, and she'd just lost two pints of blood, but she kept her cool, even if she was a bit dizzy and still hurting, and did it faster and better than any patient I've cared for. I suppose you Gryffindors have got that courage to be proud of after all. You should get house points."

James turned back to Lily as Madam Pomfrey went on with her cleaning. He took another look at her despairing countenance and beamed with pride. He gently grabbed her limp hand and rubbed circles into it with his thumb. "That's _my_ Lily Evans," he whispered into her palm. Remembering his promise to eat with the other Marauders at eleven, he pressed his lips to her knuckles softly before placing her hand back on the bed. Then he traced the waterfall of her hair with the tips of his fingers before standing and quietly exiting the hospital wing.

* * *

><p>"Hey, mate! Where were you this morning? And why are you so smiley?" Sirius prodded when James sat down across from him and next to Pete at the Gryffindor table a few minutes later. James shrugged as he felt his face heating up.<p>

"Nowhere," he said.

"Nowhere? Now, really? You mean to say that you weren't at the hospital wing this morning checking up on a certain female friend of yours? You know, the one with the red hair, and the green eyes that, and I quote, 'could _Avada kedavra_ into the depths of my soul at will?'" Sirius recited dramatically. Pete and Remus sniggered into their oatmeal.

"Shut it, you two," James commanded them. Looking back at Sirius, his jaw set, James said, "Yep, Padfoot, that's exactly what I mean to say. "

"Oh, please. You talk in your sleep, you know." Sirius winked at Remus and Pete, who were now chuckling without reserve.

"Shut up!" James hissed, smacking Pete on the arm.

"For example," Sirius began, assuming a typical Romeo pose, "Oh, Lily! How I do love you so—"

_Smack._ A huge blob of oatmeal had hit him right in the face. He wiped it from his eyes and looked at a grinning James, who was holding his suddenly bowl-sized spoon at firing point. "Oops!" he said, shrinking his spoon back to normal size and plowing through his oatmeal.

"Prongs! You know better than to interrupt me while I'm doing my impression of you!" Sirius growled like an angry parent as Remus, Pete, and James laughed loudly at the mess of Sirius' face.

"Sorry, Sirius. As your brother, I was doing you a service. That was a _terrible_ impression of me," James said, smirking.

"Whatever, James. Anyway, how is she?"

"She's fine. Still asleep but doesn't sound like she's in so much pain anymore," James answered without thinking.

"AHA!" all three Marauders yelled, jumping up from their seats to point at him.

"You _were_ in the hospital wing this morning, Prongs!" Remus exclaimed, clapping Sirius on the shoulder. "Clever tactics employed, Padfoot, I'm impressed!"

James' eyes widened as he realized what he'd done. He slapped his forehead, annoyed at himself. "Oh, bloody hell, Moony!" he said, oatmeal flying out the sides of his mouth as his three friends collapsed in laughter.


	7. The Loveliest Lady Friends

All eyes were on her, and for once Lily welcomed the attention rather than shying away from it. "Friends!" she called, as they listened. "Friends!" she said again, and as she tried to speak more, she found she could only say "friends." Lily crossed her arms and huffed, frustrated with herself.

"Lily?" someone said.

"Lily." Someone else's voice joined in.

"Lily!" The jolting sound caused an explosion in Lily's head and she turned around.

Lily popped her eyes open, groaning slightly as her opening eyes tore apart the film of dirt encrusted on her lashes. She blinked hard and the dirt fell away. A heaviness was pushing down on her body and she felt weak, but she noticed her headache had subsided. As the world before her swam into view, she realized she was in the hospital wing, not the Great Hall, like she had dreamed.

But all eyes really were on her…sort of. Sitting on her bed or standing close by was Mary, Marlene, Clarissa, Hestia, and Dorcas! They were talking in hushed tones with one another and hadn't noticed her eyes flutter. Her eyelids fell from exhaustion and remained about half-closed.

"When do you think she'll come around?" Dorcas was asking.

"Should we do something?" Hestia asked.

"I don't know, but when she does, how do you suppose she'll feel?" Clarissa hissed.

"Hungry," Lily croaked, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. The five faces darted in her direction and broke into smiles all around the circle.

"Oh, Lily! Thank goodness, you're okay!" Mary gushed, grabbing Lily's hand and giving it a squeeze. Lily blinked again and her vision became clear. Mary hadn't slept last night, apparently, she concluded from the appearance of dark circles under her eyes. With much effort, she slowly lifted her hand from Mary's grasp and patted her friend on the top of her head.

"Mary, you need to sleep. You're not looking so good," she said with a yawn. All her friends giggled. Mary rolled her eyes and dropped Lily's hand back on the bed.

"All in a few hours, Lil."

"What time is it?" Lily asked, her voice still but a rasp. Marlene checked her watch.

"It's a quarter past six," she answered.

"In the _evening_?" Lily sighed. "I slept all day?"

Hestia nodded. "But of course, Lils! You know how powerful Madam Pomfrey's sleeping draughts can be." Lily gritted her teeth, wrinkled her nose, and sucked in a breath.

"Yeah…remember third year?" she said, nodding witha wink at Clarissa. All the friends looked at the scatterbrained, grey-eyed brunette, who put her hands up apologetically.

"Whoa, whoa, there! In my defense, I had been _very_ stressed at the time! Remember? I had Quidditch and _tons _to do! I was up way past midnight _every_ night for _three _whole weeks! It isn't my fault her potion put me to sleep for a whole week and a half!" she squeaked. Loud laughter exploded, even from Lily.

"Oh, Lily! I'm so glad you're okay!" Dorcas said, affectionately throwing her arms around Lily's neck. Lily tried to pat her on the back, but her arm was crushed by the other four girls piling in for a group hug. Though it hurt, Lily couldn't help but smile, just as thankful as they were that she was okay. Several times during the horrible occurrence, she had feared for her life. Right now, she didn't care that the weight of her friends on her was sending sharp pains through her skin. She was happy to be alive and more than happy to have them all over her than not at all. She snuggled her face into Dorcas' shoulder and squeezed her as best as she could.

"I am, too, Dorcas. Now please get off me before I suffocate," Lily said point-blankly. They quickly got up, apologizing. Lily shook her head and chuckled to herself, sitting up against the head of the bed.

"Don't apologize. I love group hugs from the five best girls on the planet!" she said hoarsely. "So, what all did you guys do while I was stuck in here? Just tell me, I won't feel bad. Please tell me you've got all your assignments finished."

The five girls were quiet as each reverted to her own nervous habit, which could be scratching the back of her neck, twirling her hair around her finger, biting her lip, cracking her knuckles, or staring at her hair for split ends. Lily chortled quietly. "Your assignments aren't done, are they?"

"Maybe-yeah!-of course-no-actually-uh uh-nope-sorry-yes-I lied-" Lily slapped her forehead and snickered before wincing because her skin was still hurting.

"Ow," she mumbled. "Never mind, girls. You had better do them before tomorrow, though! Or else."

"Or else _what_, Lil? You'll never drop and give me those thirty I demanded yesterday morning?" Mary said with a twinkle in her eye. Lily raised her eyebrow.

"Is _that_ what you're so worried about, Reed? I'll have you know, I vomited sixteen times _at will_ last night. Don't think I can't make arrangements with my stomach just for you, my friend!" she threatened, delighted. As Mary gaped at Lily, all the girls allowed giggling fits to take over.

But Mary wasn't just shocked at Lily's threat. "You threw up _sixteen_ times, Lily?" The laughter subsided immediately as everyone heard how serious Mary's tone was.

Lily realized all her friends were waiting for an answer. She sighed and nodded. "Yes, Mary, I threw up sixteen times. I lost two pints of blood. I shed a whole layer of skin off. It's okay! I'm safe now," she said, not wanting her friends to worry so much about her.

"Wha—how?" Marlene asked.

"It's all a part of the process, Mar. I had to do all that _and more_," she said, coughing the last two words, "in order to get better. I might be-dead-if I hadn't done those things. But like I said, it's okay! I'm safe." Her friends were silent.

To ease the tension, Lily asked them what they'd been up to the past two days. Hestia, Dorcas, and Clarissa had gone to Hogsmeade and presented Lily with a "Get Well" card and flowers. The card flashed different jokes in different colors all across its interior, along with photographs and snapshots of the group when they'd hung out together. Lily grinned enormously at this and placed it onto the table next to her bed.

"I love it, you guys! It'll be my new favorite book!" she giggled thankfully.

Mary and Marlene had devised an incredible prank to pull on the Marauders. "We thought we might as well do it in your honor, Lil. We missed you so much that we thought we'd do this little bit just for you," Marlene explained, stars in her eyes.

Lily was almost afraid. She laughed nervously. "What did you guys do?"

"Well….let's just say it involved a wild goose chase, fake apparating," Clarissa began with a wink at the rest of guilty party, "and lots of Exploding Snap. Also, the many charms that you've helped us to perfect." Lily couldn't stop the wide smile that was taking over. She snorted before her laughter filled the wing.

"I could not be any more proud of you all than I am right now," she said in a dramatically sentimental tone. Giggles erupted again.

"Girls, Miss Evans needs rest! I'm afraid you'll have to leave!" Madam Pomfrey commanded. They groaned, while Lily shook her head and smiled. She couldn't be peeved at Madam Pomfrey now that she understood her better. The girls said goodbye to her and left the wing, but Hestia stayed behind for a moment.

She bent down to her ear and whispered, "We brought you more clothes, Lil, and your makeup, if you want it." She shoved a small bag underneath the bed.

"Thanks, Hest," Lily said, touched at the kind gesture.

"Also, Potter was in here while you were asleep."

Lily's eyebrows shot up. "What?" she asked, annoyed. "What did he do…?" she asked herself, looking around to see if anything Marauderesque had been left.

"Nothing," Hestia said. "Look, I know he's an insufferable git, and I don't want to make you angry, but hear me out, Lil. He's definitely changed. He, erm…saw you sometime last night. From what he was telling Mary and the rest of us, it sounded like he felt so bad for you and he just wanted to make it better. It was killing him, I just know it. Please, Lily, you don't have to go out with him, but try and give him a chance. Just as a person, you know. Please?"

Lily furrowed her brow and sighed. "Fine, but only because for a whole week I won't be in the mood for arguing whatsoever. Got it?"

Hestia nodded vigorously. "You know I've always thought you two would make a good couple," she whispered playfully. Lily gasped and pushed Hestia back jokingly.

"You cheated!"

Hestia giggled and said goodnight to Lily before leaving. When she had gone, Lily shifted uncomfortably in the bed and fixed her sheets. To tell the truth, she had noticed a _tiny_ bit of a change in James Potter. He'd stopped hexing people for the fun of it, for one thing, and didn't seem to be as much of a bully as before, just a prankster. She even had to admit to herself sometimes that she thought some of his pranks were funny.

Shaking her head, she decided she was too hungry to think about it right now. "Hello, Madam Pomfrey? Do you suppose any dinner would terribly upset my body right now?"


	8. Making Conversation

Lily panted as she ran and ran faster from the castle. She had just reached the Great Lake when she heard a horrible cackling and a spell being cast as her legs buckled, stopping her short to fall face-first on the rocky ground that surrounded the lake. Hoping somewhere in the back of her mind that she still had all her teeth, she turned around on the ground and saw someone dressed in all black with a horrible mask striding towards her. _A Death Eater_, her mind thought what her mouth refused to speak. She hugged her knees and buried her face in them, hoping whoever it was would go away.

"_Crucio!"_ the Death Eater cried. Upsurges of throbbing blasted through her like electricity, and she screamed.

"Lily! Be careful!" Madam Pomfrey's calming voice reached her ears and forced her eyes open. Her breath came out in short, strong huffs and puffs, her chest moving up and down rapidly. "Dear, slow down, you'll make yourself dizzy." Lily shuddered as she tried to slow her breathing. In an instant she realized that she had _actually_ been screaming as she woke up in affliction. Madam Pomfrey _had_ mentioned that she was still healing and that the excruciation could return at any moment for Merlin only knew how long, but Lily had most certainly _not _wanted to wake up to it.

She glanced at the clock. It was around two in the afternoon the next day. Lily looked down at the Defence Against the Dark Arts novel she had been reading before she'd fallen asleep the night before, and made a note to _never_ read it at night again, so that she might avoid the nightmares. And to think, this subject just so happened to correspond with the Cruciatus curse, which, Lily imagined, was quite similar to the misery she had been put through in the last few days.

She sighed, wracked with sobs. "I'm sorry," she choked. Madam Pomfrey shook her head.

"It isn't your fault, dear. Here, eat this," she said, handing Lily a Chocolate Frog. Lily gratefully devoured it until Madam Pomfrey made her eat it slower. She laid the chocolate aside and tossed the book under her bed, sitting back with her hands resting on her aching stomach and staring ahead with glazed eyes. Slowly but surely, her crying dwindled to the point at which the quietest tears tumbled down her cheeks gently. For once, no thoughts passed through her mind as she completely focused on trying to forget the horrible bursts of pain everywhere. Lily sat still for hours, exhausted, simply enjoying the lack of a need to think at all. She was completely content to stare at the wall or out the window.

It was five o'clock and the pain still hadn't stopped. Lily flinched and blinked hard, granting a new set of tears permission to spring forth silently. She didn't even hear the door open and nervous footsteps shuffling in quietly until he had almost reached her side of the room.

* * *

><p>James took a deep breath before pushing open the hospital wing door. All day he'd been getting his courage up, reminding himself not to get too angry when Lily Evans' insults would hit him like a cry of "Stupefy!" Even if Evans could stand to lighten up once in a while, he couldn't possibly make her do that by shouting at her as they always had. Exhaling the breath he realized he'd been holding, he walked in slowly to Lily's bedside.<p>

She didn't turn her head when he entered. She was only staring at the wall ahead of her, looking as though she could feel nothing at all, silent tears coursing their ways down her face. James almost stopped in his tracks. That definitely wasn't the Lily Evans he knew, but she'd been through so much in the past few days that he couldn't expect her to be her usual uptight but somehow adorable self. Yet, though she seemed a completely different person, he knew she wasn't. Right now she was hurting and needed a friend.

Lily's gaze flickered away from the wall and towards Potter as he approached. Quickly she sniffed and reached up to wipe away the tears that had fallen. "Potter," she muttered raspingly, looking at him.

He nodded to her. "Evans," he said, nothing in his tone carrying his signature smirk. He strode over to Lily's side and faced the wall, leaning down to try to look at it from where she'd been staring. "Am I missing something? Or is that far wall over there so interesting?" he asked, the slightest playful tone coloring his question. Lily half-smiled.

"Er…yeah. There's a…bug. Yeah." Potter nodded, seeming to try to understand.

"Well, whatever floats your boat, I suppose." _Bloody hell, James, can't you make better conversation than this? _he silently scolded himself. He sat down on the bed next to hers. "All right, Evans?"

Lily nearly rolled her eyes, but was too exhausted and sore to keep up an attitude towards him right now. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine."

"What, no 'fine, thank you?'"

Lily shook her head lightly. "Nope."

James put a hand to his chest as if wounded. "Ouch, Evans. Even when you're mildly incapacitated, your lack of two words or more bruises me." Lily shrugged and snuggled back onto her pillow as best she could.

"Not now, Potter. I'm not in the mood," she mumbled, feeling the urge to puke. James began to relax a little.

"How _do_ you feel?"

Just as she opened her mouth to answer his question, a surge of sharp pain arose in her again. "Agh!" she grunted under her breath and gripped the sheets tightly as a few tears escaped. She turned her eyes to him and saw not an uncomfortable look, but one of…hurt? Had she said something? She bit her lip. "Well, erm…if that doesn't answer your question, then I suppose 'awful ' would suffice," she barely whispered.

Sorrow flickered through Potter's eyes briefly as he smiled sadly at her. "I'm sorry," he said. "Caemuspureusento is bloody awful. You don't deserve to have it happen to you," he continued, reaching over and patting her hand awkwardly. Lily stared at him as though he'd grown a few more heads. Was this _the_ James Potter she'd known since she was eleven? Surely not.

She eyed him suspiciously. Too tired to try to see through any façade of his, though, she relaxed and told herself to enjoy his company.

"I'm sorry, too. It really _is_ bloody awful," she coughed.

"Madam Pomfrey said you took it like a real Gryffindor," James said, raising his eyebrows and smirking a bit. Lily couldn't help but let one corner of her mouth jerk upward.

"I didn't feel much like one," she confessed. Before she could stop herself from saying that, she said it and realized that she and James Potter were having a regular conversation.

"Why not?"

Lily struggled to speak. "I didn't feel all that brave, or courageous while it was all happening. I just…I did what I had to do so I could get better."

"See, Evans? That's where the Gryffindor is. You saw what you needed to do and did it without questioning. If that isn't courage, I don't know what is."

"Well, er…thanks, Potter. I appreciate it." James nodded and asked her what she'd been doing the past few days. "Well, aside from all the nastiness that had to occur so I could lie here consciously, I've been reading. And sleeping. And eating. And sleeping. And more sleeping. Did I mention I've been sleeping?"

James chuckled. "Does it feel good?" he asked with a hint of jealousy that she didn't have to do assignments here. All she had to do was sleep. Lily smiled and nodded.

"Delightful. If only I didn't have to wake up every once in a while," she said, eying the cuts that ran down her arms.

"How often does it still hurt?" he asked, his eyes traveling with hers to her arms. Lily shrugged.

"Depends. Right when I wake up everything feels sore and heavy and tired. When I've been awake for awhile, there are usually around three bouts of shooting pains that last for around forty-five minutes." She looked at James and half-smiled with a sad flicker in her eye.

"Well," he began, as if unsure of what to say, "I just came by to check up on you. I'll leave you to get some rest," he said, standing up and offering his hand to her. She stared at it for a moment, knowing that she couldn't raise her hand up from mere weakness, and that James Potter was possibly being serious. She pressed her lips together awkwardly.

"Erm, Potter, I can't really-I can't move anything but my head. Sorry," she commented with what smile she could muster up. He chuckled and lifted her hand up himself, clasped it in his own and shook it.

"I swear, Evans, it's like Sirius has gotten to you and put a lazy hex on you," he said, winking at her. She shrugged with her head.

"You caught me," she squeaked. "Looks like I have no choice but to sleep now." She almost winked back at him as she leaned back into her pillow when he placed her hand back on her stomach. Potter chuckled again as he started walking out. As he reached the doors, he looked back at her.

"I'm glad you're not bleeding purple anymore, Evans…though, it _did_ bring out your eyes. Perhaps you might reconsider what color you'd like to bleed," he said, his eyes twinkling. Lily noticed the slightest blush creeping up to the tips of his ears. Now, to make him feel more awkward, she did wink at him.

"Excellent suggestion, Potter. I just may be thinking about that."

"Good. Feel better, Lily." Lily almost recoiled at his use of her first name, but at the last second decided that she liked the way it sounded coming from him. A tiny smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"I will." Potter started to open the door. "And, Potter?" she quietly called after him. He stopped and turned around, waiting. "Thanks."

He held the door open with one hand and bowed smoothly with the other. "Anything for you, fair maiden," he said dramatically before smirking at her and exiting the room.


	9. Getting Closer

"Lily, wake up. Li-ly…psst. Lily."

Lily did not dare open her eyes, wondering how it was possible that Hestia and Mary's voices would be coming to her at three in the morning. She squinted her eyes shut tighter and moved her shoulder to try to brush away the poking finger at her nose. _Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap_ the finger insisted. Lily wrinkled her face in an attempt to ward off the intruder. When it didn't leave a few moments later, Lily relaxed her face and turned her head in the other direction.

"No," she mumbled. "Go away." The finger traveled from her nose to her forehead to her cheek to her ear to her chin to her upper lip. "I'm warning you," Lily slurred. When the finger kept poking, Lily quickly clamped it between her teeth and sank pressure into it as if it were a reflex.

"BLOODY OW!" a high-pitched voice boomed.

"Shhh, Mary! Madam Pomfrey'll have us thrown out!"

"But she bit me!"

"Then stop poking her! I told you that wouldn't work!"

"Like you're always right, Hest!"

"Hey, shut up! I-WHOA YOUR ELBOWS ARE SO SOFT!" At this, Lily had to snort and allow her laughter to wake her. She opened her eyes, giggling as furiously as a sleepy girl could, along with Hestia. Turning her head back in the direction of her friends, she saw Hestia on the floor snickering and a slightly fuming Mary staring with utter exasperation at her. Mary's quick eyes whizzed to Lily and warned her not to keep laughing. Lily knew there was nothing Mary would be able to do, though, to keep her from laughing, for she knew that Lily was in far too much pain to hurt her and she was too caring of a friend, no matter how irritated she could become with their group of sixth-year girls at times. So Lily opened her mouth wide and let her laughter ring louder in their corner of the hospital wing.

"What a wonderful sight to wake up to at…noon?" she began, coughing, "Two of my best friends in the world having an affectionate catfight! Hestie, have I mentioned lately that I do love you very much?" Hestia slowed her uproar to light chuckles.

"Oh! Hi, Lily! You're up! See, Mary? It was _my_ humor that did this. _Mine_. Not your tremendous irritation," she said. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Of _course_ it wasn't her irritation, Hest. Petunia's done that to me at home my entire life. I'm used to it," she said sleepily. "What's up, you two?"

Mary exhaled heavily and shook her head. "I'm going to pretend none of that just happened," she said. Perking up, she added, "So, Lily, how do you feel?" Lily sighed.

"Don't know yet, I just woke up. Let's take a moment to evaluate." The first thing Lily realized when she focused on how she felt was that her head was still pounding, but not as badly as it had been. Her arms and legs had not budged from their current position all since that early Sunday morning when she'd finally laid in bed without having to do anything more to end the caemuspureusento attack. The only other times they had moved from where they were now was when Madam Pomfrey had had to help her go to the bathroom. Other than those necessary times, she hadn't had the strength to move them. Now, with a streak of courage, she willed her brain to signal to her feet to flex and stared at her feet hopefully.

As the ball of her foot pushed forward, her toes came back. Lily smiled. Her feet had moved for the first time in days. It didn't feel natural, but they had moved. She pointed her toes, savoring the feeling of independence it was bringing her. Deciding to take a step further, Lily moved her toes in circles, allowing her ankles to roll with them.

"What are you smiling at?" Mary asked.

"Mary, Hestie, look. My feet…" Lily giggled as she moved her feet again. "I haven't been able to move them for days and look at me now!"

"Lily…that's great! This means you're getting better and can come back soon! Hestie tried to sleep in your bed last night," Mary said, her tone moving from poignancy to point-blank. Lily's mouth dropped open in disgust.

"HEST! WHAT?" she squealed, her articulation somwhere between a laugh and a scream. Hestia put her hands up in defense.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there! Is it my fault that I get separation anxiety when the most wonderful friend in the world besides Mary is in the hospital wing for a whole week? I can't take it, I tell you! Please, Lily, don't be too mad at me. I love you too!" she said, plastering a huge grin on her face and assuming a position to beg on her knees, grasping Lily's hand tightly. Lily pretended to be mad, but couldn't help smiling. She huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Fine, _Hestiana_. But I swear, if you wet my bed again-"

"YOU WET THE BED? AHAHAHAHA-"

"OH, SHUT UP! I DO NOT!"

"Guys? Guys…GUYS!" Lily said, raising her voice to a crack-worthy level. "Come on, I was only joking. Don't make me argue with you two in my condition right now," she said, subtly turning her stare into puppy eyes and flattening her tone to a pained one. The girls' faces fell with regret.

"We're sorry, Lil. It won't happen again!" Mary said determinedly.

"Absolutely not!" Hestia piped in. Lily chuckled in her throat.

"Good. Now, what day is it, what time is it, what have I missed, what have you been up to, what did Pettigrew shovel down his throat last night, what stupid thing did Clarissa say, what is Dorcas going to paint next, and, for Merlin's sake, what are those goofy grins on your faces all about?" Lily asked, noticing how silly her friends were looking. Mary and Hestia took one look at each other and burst into laughter. "Great, now you have to make me feel left out, too. Did you know I haven't eaten or walked in days?" she questioned with a wink, once again seeing the convenience of her situation to make her friends feel sorry for her. They stopped laughing and patted her hand.

"Sorry, Lily. For the last part of your question, sorry, dearest friend of ours, we can't answer you that, it happens to be a secret that we'd absolutely die to tell you, but alas, it is time for us to enjoy our lives and not die yet. So you'll have to wait," Hestia said, smirking. Lily raised two fingers to yank her nose. "Anh."

"You know, you were looking more like a Marauder or something with that smirk on your face, Hestie. We can't have that, you know," Lily teased. "Anyway, since you can't answer that part of my question, answer the rest of it!"

Mary proceeded to tell Lily all about what she was missing in her classes-and Lily was sad, because it sounded so interesting. Patronus Charms in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Draught of Peace in Potions, Human Transfigurations, the _Avis_ charm, porlocks in Care of Magical Creatures, electricity in Muggle Studies, and so many others. Lily sighed.

"It's all so fascinating! I wish I could have been there! I've read about all of those but I was looking forward to discussing them in class!" she cried.

Mary and Hestia stared as though Lily had grown more arms with even more purplish-red cuts on them. "How can you be so fascinated by all of this, Lily? It's school," Hestia said slowly. "That's kind of nerdy…but also very amazing and adorable at the same time."

Lily eyed Hestia blankly. "How can you not be fascinated by it, Hestiebestie? It's life! Take hold of it and _be_ entertained, for Merlin's sake!" Mary and Hestia chuckled.

"Lily, we love you. Okay? Never forget that," Mary whispered, beaming. "We're proud of you." A teensy grin snatched the ends of her lips.

"Thanks."

Mary continued the conversation by ranting on the eight pies Peter Pettigrew had managed to inhale the previous night as Lily remained silent with a disgusted look on her face when Mary described the saliva and bits of food dripping everywhere. Hestia then told her that they hadn't been doing very much except studying lately, because there were going to be tons of tests and other things of that revolting nature before Halloween. Then Mary backed up and told her that it was Tuesday and it was lunchtime, they'd skipped eating with the group to visit her and presented her a few things from the Great Hall.

Lily gratefully devoured the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches and downed the chicken soup they gave her. She'd been serious earlier. She hadn't really eaten these past few days at all, given that Madam Pomfrey's "get better" foods were not in the least bit as appetizing as the feasts in the Great Hall. And since the girls had taken to studying in the library, they'd brought back a few books on the things they were learning in class for Lily to read, which she eagerly accepted. They were just telling her about Clarissa's comment on her hawk Patronus and how it was "so fluffy" when the bell rang for lunch to end. All three girls' countenances dropped.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Lily sighed as they hugged her and got up to leave.

"Maybe we don't!" Hestia said brightly.

"Yeah!" chimed Mary. Lily looked askance at Hestia.

"Now, even though I'm lonely in here, I think you both know me well enough to know that I will force you to sit through a good education for my sake. Now hurry up, you'll be late for Charms! Tell Flitwick hello for me, if you would, please."

The two girls snorted and left with a giggly "Bye, Lily!" Lily shook her head, smiled, and sucked her teeth, thinking appreciatively of her friends. A few moments later she realized that the books they had brought were still sitting next to her and she dove into them readily.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so…" Remus said slowly, pointing his wand at the wall. Sirius and Peter were sitting close by, watching. Remus gulped, concentrated, and with a swish-and-flick of his wand, cried, "<em>Avis!<em>" A loud blast that sounded much like the weapons in Muggle movies was heard suddenly as smoke and yellow birds flew from Remus' wand. He smiled with his teeth and his ocean-like eyes as he looked up at his success.

"Well, there you go, boys! I'd say that was a rather well-done charm! How about another go at it?" he asked, turning to his friends and setting his wand down on the table to take a swig of pumpkin juice. Sirius huffed.

"Don't you have anything _prefect-y_ to do or something, Moony?" he spat, not in the mood for being disastrous in Charms at the moment. Sirius didn't realize that he'd been correct, however, and Remus' eyes widened. It was Tuesday, he now realized, and he was supposed to be patrolling.

"Whoops! Darn, you're right, Padfoot!" He threw his cloak on, making sure his prefect badge was still there, grabbed his wand, and rushed out of the Common Room with a hasty "Bye-Padfoot-bye-Wormtail!" The two shrugged after he left and went back to what they'd been doing before having to watch Remus correctly execute a Charm: Sirius playing Exploding Snap by himself, and Peter reading up on Ancient Runes while chewing several foods at once. James came up to them a moment later from the portrait hole, rubbing his head.

"That Moony rammed right into me! Always in a hurry, isn't he?" he commented, sinking down next to Sirius on the sofa. He chuckled lightly. "Couldn't find anyone to play with you, Padfoot? Or am I sitting on your imaginary friend here?" Sirius glanced up at him with narrowed eyes and a scowl on his lips.

"Better watch out, Prongs. I heard you can actually make those come to life in the wizarding world," he sniggered.

"Well, tell your friend to move over. He and you are about to get schooled," James smirked, jerking his wand out and ruffling his hair. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"You're on, my friend. Wanna play, Wormy?"

They were pretty sure Pete had emitted a muffled "no, thanks" as more food flowed into his throat. James and Sirius grimaced at him and started a game.


	10. Marauders' Honor

Remus wandered the corridors for about thirty minutes alone before realizing that tonight he was originally supposed to patrol with Lily. He sighed, missing her. They were friends and always enjoyed each other's company on patrol, just talking about school, friends, life. In one of their previous patrolling sessions, Remus had gotten the courage and trusted Lily enough to share with her the secret of his lycanthropy. He remembered the night very well, as it was one of the few fond ones he kept stored in his mind.

* * *

><p><em>Lily's laugh echoed through the corridors as Remus finished his story.<em>

"_No way!" she gasped between snickering fits, "I can't believe you won that bet with Black…and he ACTUALLY paid up exactly how you told him to! I can't believe you dared him to wear pink for a whole week!"_

_Remus chuckled loudly as Lily bent over with laughter. "Lily, it wasn't just to wear pink, actually. I conjured up a working fairy princess outfit complete with lighting and sound for him and everything, though I only made him wear THAT for a day. Completely priceless," he said, regaining his breath._

"_Wow. And he still trusts you?" Lily asked, wide-eyed._

_Remus nodded. "Of course. He's my brother. He'd do anything for me, just like I would for any of those guys." Lily's eyes fell and her laughter slowed to a stop. "Anything wrong?" he asked her. Lily stared at a painting of a strange-looking man and shrugged._

"_No-I mean, yes-well, I don't know. Sometimes I wish it was that way between me and my sister. She hates me."_

"_Oh, come on, Lily, that could never be true…"_

"_But it is, Remus, really. She never writes. She's always with that fat walrus of a boyfriend of hers. He doesn't approve of me either, which gives her even more reason to cut off all contact with me. She did write me a few weeks ago, though, because Mum made her do it." Lily sighed._

"_And?" he asked, hopeful._

"_Mum was making her apologize for something she said to me before I left to come here."_

"_Well, then I'm sure she said she's very sorry, right?" Lily looked expressionlessly at Remus and crossed her arms, assuming what some girls in their year called the "girl power" stance._

"_No, she didn't," she said simply, with a touch of sass streaking her tone. Remus opened his mouth, not quite sure what to say next._

"_Erm…well, then, what DID she say?" Lily shrugged and rolled her eyes, clearly at her sister's nerve._

"_I'm not allowed to use THAT kind of language, but it was something awfully nasty." To his surprise, Lily forced a chuckle. "But hey, what do I care? She doesn't want anything to do with me, anyway. I may as well just let her. She's seen me as nothing but a freak for years now. Why should I try and change her opinion of me now?"_

_Remus realized for a brief moment that he could very well identify with Lily. "Lily, you're not a freak, okay?" he said before he could stop himself. "I don't care what your sister says. If anyone should feel like a freak, it should be me." _

_Her eyebrows furrowed. His eyes widened. "Oh, Merlin. Bloody hell. Crap. I should not have said that," he muttered under his breath. He turned away from her, his fingers jerking at the hairs at the back of his neck furiously._

"_Remus, what are you talking about?" she asked, truly looking concerned. "You shouldn't have any reason to feel like a freak, either. My sister tells me I'm a freak, but I can live with it, okay? What she tells me shouldn't matter to me. Remus, please stop pulling out your hair like that, you'll go bald, and…Remus?"_

_He was rubbing his face with his hand and propping himself against the wall with the other as he sighed heavily. Lily went to him slowly. "Remus? If there's anything wrong, you can tell me. You know that, right?" He nodded slowly, not looking away from the floor. "You're smart, Remus. You're kind, and a really great friend…" she stopped when he started to chuckle. "Erm…I'm a little confused."_

_He chuckled a bit more, then whipped around to face her and leaned against the wall. "Lily, you said so yourself, so can I tell you something? You're absolutely killing me with what a good friend you're being about all this." Lily's eyes narrowed at him, and she nodded._

* * *

><p>She hadn't drawn back in shock when the words "I'm a werewolf" left his lips. She didn't even try to protest that he was really joking.<p>

She only stood still as he spilled the news and told her everything, taking in his every word and showing with a small nod of her head that she understood. Then when he looked almost ready to cry, she'd hugged him and whispered in his ear, "I won't tell. I promise." He hadn't told her about the other three being illegal Animagi, but she didn't need to know about that, maybe not yet anyway. He figured if they wanted her to know eventually, then James would be the one to tell her.

But she'd shown him that night that she was more than the girl who got the top marks in every class. She'd shown him what a friend she was and hoped to be to him. And as he walked around alone that evening, he missed his friend. Without warning, he found himself nearing the hospital wing and decided to pay a visit.

Lily was at the far left corner of the wing when he entered, deeply immersed in a large book. She looked up when he came in and smiled. "Hi, Remus!" she said, her voice completely shot. He smiled with a touch of sadness in his expression at her. She sounded so much like she was fighting just to be okay, but she did so with the best attitude of determination he'd ever seen. He had never been prouder to call her friend.

"Hi, Lily," he said warmly, approaching and sitting on the bed at her feet. "How do you feel? I'm missing my patrolling buddy tonight." Lily shrugged, letting the large book fall onto her lap.

"All right, I guess. I mean, there's not much I can do right now, so I've been sleeping a lot and that helps me heal. Honestly, I _should_ be sleeping right now, according to Madam Pomfrey, but I'm not tired! I was rudely woken up around noon by Mary's all-too-pokey fingers," she stated matter-of-factly. Remus guffawed lightly.

"Even when you're recovering from something horrible you're still cheerful. How in the world do you do that, Lily Evans?" Lily shrugged again.

"I don't know. I suppose I've told myself that possessing the adorable quality plays much too well to one's advantage in too many circumstances. I guess this must be one of them," she reasoned, smiling. He snorted.

"You're funny. Your friends are missing you terribly, you know," he said, and she noticed a trace of gloom glide through his eyes. "It's always 'Lily this' and 'Lily that' in the Common Room and at feasts. You should be proud of yourself for being able to make such good friends who care about you that much." The smile on Lily's lips dissipated, but the twinkle in her eyes remained.

"No, Remus, not proud of myself, I should say. I'd much rather commend them for the wonderful girls they are. Even if a bit annoying at times-oh, Merlin, Remus-did you hear what Clarissa was saying about her Patronus?" Remus squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to laugh, and nodded. "So you know she's sometimes a bit of an airhead? But brilliant and caring, all the same. I don't know how, but I love her for it, that Clarissa."

He shook his head and smiled. "You are a fantastic friend, Lily. That's a great skill to have, you be sure to hold on to it." Lily grinned.

"Will do! Caught anyone wandering tonight?" Remus shook his head.

"Nope. I was the one wandering, actually. Wasn't sure what to do until I got here and decided to drop in. I haven't seen you for days! What's been happening? But first, tell me _what_ happened, exactly, if you don't mind." Lily's eyes looked distant for a moment, then she collected herself and sighed, nodding to him.

"Okay," she began, "Well…I'll start from Saturday morning. What do you remember from there?" Remus pressed one corner of his lips together, thinking.

"Well, Madam Pomfrey and Clarissa ran into the Common Room up to your dorm. Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail, and I were…I'll _say_ we were studying. In the Common Room. Yeah. And all of a sudden, your door's open and we can hear this horrible screaming getting louder and louder, and the next thing I know, Madam's practically sprinting out to the portrait hole with your friends behind her blocking everyone and carrying this stretcher with a shrieking, crying, purple heap on it that kind of looks like you." He smiled sheepishly and sadly. Lily shuddered and sucked air through her teeth.

"Ooh, yeah, that was very bad. I can't remember a lot of it, to be honest. I got in the shower that morning, and out of nowhere, I start to feel like there's something everywhere on me, cutting me to pieces, breaking all my bones, tearing out my intestines, or something, all at once. It was awful. Then if that wasn't enough, I bleed _purple,_ not _red_. What's up with that? Anyway, she brought me straight here and a while later she had to make me do all these awful things to purge it all out of me. I had to sweat, a lot, vomit eight times, drink a few terribly dark potions, flood the inside of my head with salt water, shed off a few layers of skin, hence, this mess," she paused, pointing to the patchy skin that was visible among the cuts and bruises on her arms.

"It's only begun to grow back. I also had to drink a draught that made me bleed even more. I lost enough blood to donate, for Merlin's sake. Then I was forced to cry, and cry, and cry more, until I was crying in gallons. It stung so badly. Then I sweated some more, and duplicated the procedure." She looked up as she finished to a wide-eyed, open-mouthed Remus. "Close your mouth, please, Remus. We aren't a codfish."

Remus snapped out of his trance-like state and shut his mouth, blinking. "_Lily_," he breathed, "Don't you _ever_ let that happen to you again! Just _don't do it_! Please! That's bloody horrible!" Lily chuckled lightly. "Don't laugh, I'm serious! That's-" he looked around and lowered his voice, leaning closer to whisper to her, "That's worse than my transformations, Lily."

Lily eyed him, concerned. "No, Remus, it most certainly wasn't! It's over, okay? It shouldn't happen again." She stopped his hand, which was nervously jerking at a section of sheets near the edge. "Remus, you have to do that _every month_. You shouldn't worry about me," she whispered. Remus shook his head.

"Either way, Lily, yes, my transformations are painful. But I know when they're coming, at least, and it's not nearly as scary as your predicament was because I know what I'm doing. For you, it happened without warning, and you had no idea what was going on or what you'd have to endure in the next twenty-four hours." Lily leaned back and exhaled heavily.

"Okay, Remus. But I still don't believe you," she said with a twinkle in her eye. He huffed with a laugh and asked her what she'd been doing besides sleeping. "Eating…well, not really, actually. And reading. And staring at the wall. I actually just started being able to move my feet and hands again! But that's about it. The girls have come in when they could, so that's been nice, I suppose. I'm just disappointed to be missing so much. Tell _everyone_ I know hello for me, will you?" she commanded.

Remus smiled and nodded. "Of course I will! Also…oh! I just remembered. Here," he said, digging through the pocket of his robes and withdrawing a small package from it, "this is for you. Marauders' honor."

Lily reached out for it but hesitated to take it. "Am I going to regret touching it?" she asked quietly, suddenly feeling very small, a familiar feeling known by the victims of a Marauder prank. Remus snickered.

"No, Lily, you're already in the hospital wing. Why would we do anything else that could be dangerous to your health?" Lily gulped and shrugged, seeing his reasoning.

"Well, okay. Do you want me to open it now?" Remus nodded. "All right, then, seeing as I trust you the most out of all of them," she mumbled, taking it reluctantly. She laid it on her lap and pulled the strings wrapped around it untied with the very tips of her fingers. Remus had to cover his face with his arm to stop his laughter at her caution. Lily carefully removed the paper around the small box and pushed the tip up with her fingernail before flicking it open and drawing her hand back faster than their Gryffindor seeker's broomstick could fly after sighting the Snitch.

But, to her pleasant surprise, no goop or anything else strange that the Marauders could conjure flew from the inside of the box. Instead, a large lily (very original of them, Lily thought with a laugh) grew out of it and a few smaller lilies grew from its stem, all bright and bursting with color. Out of the lilies' blooms flew tiny silent fireworks, all exploding in every color to form the words "GET WELL EVANS!" in fancy lettering. About five chocolate frogs hopped out of the lilies' blooms as well, freezing in place on the beautiful petals. Lily's mouth dropped open.

"Remus!" she cried, the corners of her mouth jerking upward, "You guys made this?" she asked in disbelief, reaching up two hands to cover her mouth.

"Don't be so surprised, Lily. We Marauders are extremely capable! You of all people must know this," he said, his eyes twinkling. She giggled and studied the present with her eyes alight.

"I love it," she breathed, "thank you so, so much!"

"Don't thank me, Lily. It was Prongs' idea." Remus noticed the light in her eyes go out a tiny bit upon hearing it, but she shook it off and chuckled.

"Of course. Well, it's actually very nice of him. Definitely a lot better than being given a box of grass for your birthday because he thinks it matches your eyes." He looked up her eyes shining with laughter, and knew it was okay to go on.

"You know, Lily, he really does care for you. He's not just trying to be so 'horribly male' around you just because he can. He's just-not as mature as you yet. Give him a little while, he'll grow up. I can see it in him already."

Lily shrugged. "Thanks, Remus, but I'm here right now to finish my education. I can't get distracted by anything. Potter may have changed some, but I'm…I'm just not interested. Tell him I said thank you for his kind gesture, though," she said, smiling politely and hoping she could get Remus to brush the awkward Potter conversation off.

It worked. Remus sighed and stood up. "I'll do that, Lily. Now, if you don't mind, you need to rest and I need to patrol before someone catches _me_ wandering. Please feel better soon?" he asked more than told. Lily kept smiling and nodded.

"I will, Remus. And thank Black and Pettigrew, too. Have a good week."

"You, too," he said, walking out to finish up his patrolling.


	11. Not a Chance

**_Hello my awesome readers and subscribers!  
>I just wanted to thank you all for tuning in and for your reviews! You guys rock!<em>**

**_So up to this point I've mainly focused on Lily and a little on some of her friends. I love her to death and I think she is an incredible character, and her perspective for the first part of this story is a tiny bit crucial to understand what she'd feeling physically and what she's thinking.  
>From this point for a little while the focus will be shifted to James and his character development and that of the Marauders, a little more of Lily's friends, and we will have an appearance from Severus Snape himself!<br>I'm seriously considering keeping this story going until James and Lily become a couple, but I am also debating on whether or not this story will end at the end of Lily's recovery and therapy. Get ready to be surprised by either!  
>Thank you everyone!<br>-S.J.D._**

* * *

><p>James opened his eyes slowly and stared up at the curtains surrounding his four-poster. He lay still for a moment, breathing slowly, until he decided that having his eyes open against his will this early in the morning was no good to him unless he could actually see something. Sleepily, his fingers fumbled around his side table until they found his glasses and slipped them on. He blinked slowly as his dorm came into focus.<p>

Sunlight was creeping into the sixth-year boys' dorm. James turned his head, rubbing the film of dust and dried sleep from his eyes, and glanced at his clock. It glared 6:30 at him, as though it were just as angry to be awake at that hour. _Breakfast in an hour_, James' stomach reminded him. "Arrgh," he grumbled, exhausted. And it was only Wednesday.

A rustle in the room caused him to turn his head toward the far left side of it, where Remus was already up and tying his scarlet and gold Gryffindor tie. "Morning, Prongs," he said, sounding much more awake than should be legal at 6:30, James believed. He groaned and sat up, throwing his covers off reluctantly.

"Morning, Moony," he yawned. With little energy, he swung his legs over the side of the bed facing Remus and rested his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands, ruffling his hair. "How the bloody hell are you always up this early, mate?"

Remus shrugged. "To be honest, I didn't sleep that much. Got in late from patrolling and, ah…I visited Evans before I got in, so I had a bit too much on my mind for sleeping, I'd say."

James' ears perked up. "Oh, did you?" he asked drowsily, not wanting to sound like he was too worried. If James was completely honest with himself, he'd come to the realization that his feelings for Lily Evans were getting nothing but stronger, but at the same time any hope he had of her saying yes to him was quickly diminishing to almost none. It was a hard place to be stuck in, he was finding. So, instead of sounding hopeful and sure of himself as he always had around his friends, he'd begun to brush off many conversations that involved her. Remus didn't fail to notice this, and went on.

"Yep. Hey, James?" he said, craning his neck forward to eye his friend better from his side of the room. James sighed, removed his hands from his hair, and leaned on his elbows, looking up at Remus.

"Yeah, Remus?" he grumbled, noting a slight flicker of brotherly teasing in his friend's eyes. Remus smiled.

"She loved your 'Get Well' present. A lot. I saw it, James, it really did make her feel better. She's been unable to smile a lot because she's been hurting so badly these past few days and when she opened it she looked like herself again, even better than herself. I wish you'd have seen it."

James rocked back until he was lying back on his bed and punched the air, suddenly feeling quite refreshed. "Yes!" he exclaimed quietly. Remus chuckled.

"And look who's awake, now."

"Come on, Moony, you would be, too. Who did you tell her it was from?"

"From all of us."

"Good."

"I told her it was your idea, though." James sat up abruptly and his hands hastily grabbed his hair.

"Whaaaat? Come on, Moony, it was all going so well. Now she probably won't look at it again."

"Now, Prongs, be reasonable," Remus whispered, not wanting to wake up Sirius and Peter and walking over as he threw his cloak on and leaned on one of the posts. "She did appreciate it, and to be honest, if you were looking to make things better between you, then you picked the perfect time to do it. She can't protest anything right now. She's hurting too badly. She'll be glad for any kind gesture because she's in physical pain and she's lonely in there. She can only sit there, day after day, until she heals. She hasn't even walked by herself yet. She hasn't eaten. Did she tell you everything she had to go through before she could even lie there without the fear of being gradually cut open until she died?"

James shook his head and shrugged. "I only got to speak with her briefly, Moony, I told you. I didn't want to bother her with questions. Too many of them and you know she'd have asked me to leave."

Remus sighed. "Okay, Prongs, well, she told me. So I'll tell you." And he did. As Lily's description of the route of torture she'd taken tumbled out of him, James' eyes got wider, his heart rate picked up speed, and occasionally he gave a loud wince.

When Remus finished, James realized he'd been holding his breath. He exhaled slowly, tugging at the tufts of hair on the side of his head. "Bloody hell, Moony, I-I don't know what to say. I mean-no wonder she was screaming so loudly that day we were outside the wing. Oh, Merlin's beard…"

Remus was quiet, listening to his friend sort through his thoughts.

"I never heard anyone in that much pain in my life. Not even you, Moony. Do you know how much it killed me to hear her hurting that horribly? Do you know how badly I wanted to run in there and make it all stop for her?"

"And you didn't." James nodded.

"Yes. Because I knew she would reject me still even if I could have saved her from having to put herself through all of that. Do you know how difficult it is to feel that way? I'm stuck there, Moony, and there isn't a way out of it."

"You're changing, Prongs."

"What?"

"This is part of growing up, mate, I'm sure of it. Look at me. I had to grow up early because of my…furry little problem. You mature, you change, you become a better person, and people take note of it because that's who you've always been. It just hasn't been obvious until now," Remus encouraged. He saw James' countenance change as the idea took shape in his mind.

"You're sure, mate?"

"I'm positively sure."

"Isn't that kind of redundant?" Remus shook his head and looked for a moment like he had swallowed his own tongue.

"Eeerm, never mind, I take that back. Not so sure. You might still be five," he teased, throwing his hands up in the air and walking back to his bed. James sniggered.

"I'm only joking, Moony."

"Uh huh."

"I'm serious!"

"Okay, James, we've known each other for six years. Don't you think that pun on Padfoot's given name is getting a bit old?" James "hmphed" lightly and it was Remus' turn to snigger, a little too loudly. Peter squeaked something about potatoes as he stirred and Sirius was dreaming about Quidditch and mumbled "slap that bludger," or something, Remus and James thought.

"Thanks, Moony. I guess you cheered me up a little bit, then," he said, snickering at Peter and Sirius.

"Anytime, Prongs."

* * *

><p>Hestia tapped the tip of her quill furiously on an innocent piece of parchment which was now getting stained by little ink dots. She had no idea how loud of a noise she was making until Professor Flitwick looked up from his scrawling on the chalkboard and eyed her as she stared into space, clearly not making any progress on the essay he had assigned and given this free time in class during which to spend working on it. She didn't catch his glance and he hopped off the pile of books he'd been standing on and waddled over to her desk, rapping his wand lightly on the parchment in her way. Hestia glanced up, wide-eyed.<p>

"Oh, dear…I'm sorry, Professor. It won't happen again," she whispered. Flitwick nodded and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Best get back to work, Miss Jones," he hissed with an understanding tone.

"Yes, sir." As he hobbled away, Hestia brought her mind back to the present and tried to focus on uses of the _Avis_ charm, but her mind kept drifting back to Saturday as Lily's tortured shrieks replayed in her mind. She resisted the urge to cry in the middle of this Charms class while seeing her mind's eye counterpart do the same as she helped carry Lily to the hospital wing. _Merlin,_ she thought, shaking her head and blinking hard to concentrate on the work at hand.

But she simply couldn't. About five sentences into her essay, she stared at the piece of parchment, thinking about everything that had occurred since then. She glanced at Marlene next to her and found that Marlene's blank gaze at her parchment was looking up to meet her own. Hestia shrugged, understanding, and Marlene nodded and scribbled a note on a piece of parchment, placing it next to her essay on Hestia's side.

_Can't focus at all, Hest. Can you? _Hestia quickly responded.

_**No way, Mars. I'm too worried about Lily. I went to see her this morning and she was still sleeping. Have you noticed how thin she's gotten?**_

_Yeah, I have. I saw her yesterday. She looks horrible._

_**How kind of you, Planet Mars.**_

_You know what I mean, Hestiana. Has she been eating?_

_**No. Madam Pomfrey says she can't eat but one meal a day for now. It's doing horrible things to her. Shouldn't she need to be getting her strength back?**_

_Yes, but I read up on Caemuspureusento a few days ago. The patient needs to build slowly on what they eat so that anything harmful left can't be nourished iwth them. It's been four days since the attack. I think she'll be allowed to eat more than once starting today._

_**Good. Madam had better bring in some food from the kitchens instead of that nasty stuff she keeps up there. But if she won't, I will. **_

_Good idea. Did you see what Remus left her last night?_

_**No, did you?**_

_Nope, but Dorcas told me all about it after she visited Lily during lunch. Want some juicy gossip?_

_**Have you ever known me to turn down an offer like that, Marlene?**_

_That's my Hestiebestie. Anyway, don't tell. But it was a really pretty 'get well' gift from him and the Marauders!_

_**That's nice of them!**_

_No kidding! And the best part? He told her it was Potter's idea._

_**NO BLOODY FREAKING WAY. What was it then, flowers and heart-shaped chocolate? Ha ha.**_

_Not exactly, but you're close. Chocolate frogs to be exact, with lilies (how creative), and fireworks that spelled…want to guess?_

"_**Go out with me, Evans?" Ha ha ha.**_

_Got the "Evans" right. GET WELL EVANS._

_**Well, that seems out of character for him. Usually he'd take any opportunity to ask her out, correct?**_

_Of course. But you remember that last one that was a prank dedicated to her?_

_**How could I forget? She was fuming at us for hours afterward for laughing.**_

_Yep. Well, Hest, that was the end of fifth year. At least that was before he did it again in front of everyone when she and Snape stopped being friends…_

_**That's a sensitive subject, Marlene, be careful.**_

_I will be. I'm just saying…he hasn't asked her out again since then. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?_

_**I guess so. She did yell something awful at him after Snape called her...**_**that**_**, you know. He did seem to lose his touch a bit after that, don't you think?**_

Marlene looked at Hestia and shrugged, then discreetly jerked her elbow in Potter and Black's direction. Hestia followed her peek. Potter was, as was rare in Charms class, working through his essay vigorously. Marlene and Hestia glimpsed one another and raised their eyebrows.

_**He NEVER writes that fast. Why the sudden interest?**_

_Merlin knows, Hest. Let's just finish these essays so we can visit Lily later._

_**Right.**_

* * *

><p><em><em>James' quill moved as fast as his broom had during a match against Slytherin earlier that season. _Gotta write. Gotta write. Gotta get a good grade. Gotta impress Lily Evans. Gotta write._ James stopped his train of thought and his hand before either exploded. He pried his fingers from his quill and rubbed his aching hand.

Next to him, Sirius was fast asleep on what he'd managed to get written of his essay. James almost flicked him in the back of the head to wake him up, but decided against it, rather enjoying the lack of distractions he had from writing his essay. _Well,_ he thought, _at least FEWER distractions than normal._

Lily was always a distraction, no matter what anyone did. How could she not be? She couldn't help that she was gorgeous and had practically throngs of Hogwarts males drooling over her. James chafed his hurting hand a little too hard upon thinking that. Neither could Lily help that she was so kind to everyone, well, except to him, or that she was going to get the highest marks of their class without a moment's doubt. She couldn't help that everyone liked her so much, including most of the younger students who couldn't seem to stop buzzing about what had happened to her.

To be perfectly honest, James was worried as sick as Lily about her current condition and the constant talk around school didn't help. Everywhere he went, someone was telling about or asking about Lily. He wanted to be able to help her as much as he could, and there were several things he could think of doing, but he knew she'd brush him away. She didn't want his help. She'd just assume he was still trying to get to her from high on his broomstick.

And that was why he was trying so hard not to think of her, trying so hard not to let her know why he did everything he did, trying so hard not to appear arrogant, as she'd called him last spring. He just wanted the chance to have her accept any little inch of kindness he could give her. He ruffled his hair and sighed quietly as the pain from her insults stung. He was sure any chance he might have had with her had gone away alongside her previous friendship with Snape that day.

_What else can a guy do?_ he wondered as the bell to end Charms class surprised Sirius so much that he jolted himself awake and fell over with his chair, gracefully bowing when the class erupted in laughter and applause.


	12. She's LILY!

Sirius wasn't feeling keen enough to do much homework that afternoon, as usual, so he took a stroll through the castle, winking and flashing his signature grin at nearly every cute girl who should happen to pass by. He was just about to round a corner when he passed by the hospital wing and spotted a familiar head of messy black hair peering in the window hesitantly. "Oi, Prongsie!"

James spun around and his hands grabbed the hair at the back of his head and tousled it nervously. "He-e-ey, Padfoot," his voice cracked. Sirius snorted and shook his dark elegant hair as he sauntered over.

"What _are_ you doing, Prongs? Don't you know you can't get a girl to go out with you if you don't actually go in there and make her see sense?" he said, both teasing and forcefully. James sighed.

"Padfoot, you know this is more complicated than just that. She hates me, you see," he said sarcastically.

"No _way_. Well, I guess that's that, then. Time to move on with life, Prongs," he remarked, throwing an arm around his friend's shoulder. James brushed his arm away.

"_Pad_foot…" he said, exasperated.

"Really, though, Prongs. Why are you so stuck on this whole idea of getting together with Evans? Yeah, she's great, I'm sure, somewhere beneath all the annoying," he began, mumbling the last part, "but Prongs, you could get _any_ girl. I mean that. Just not a Slytherin. Sorry, mate, we just can't even go there." James forced a chuckle as Sirius chortled the life out of himself at his own joke.

He looked in the window again as he gave his answer. "Because, Padfoot, she's not _any_ girl. She's Lily Evans. She's…well, she's _Lily_. She's amazing. She's smart. She cares about people. She's strong. She loves life and would put herself in harm's way to protect it. She's _Lily_, Sirius." Sirius looked frustrated.

"Then what are you waiting for, Prongs, if you want her that bad?" James frowned, crossed his arms, and craned his neck to eye Sirius.

"Padfoot, do you happen to recall any of what happened after O.W.L.s last year?" Sirius sucked air through his teeth and winced.

"Oh, yeah, that. She was so mad!" he started to laugh.

"It isn't funny, Sirius! She lost a friend that day, though, I must say, it wasn't a terrible loss," he muttered under his breath, much to Sirius' delight, "and now she hates me even more. And you ask me 'what I'm waiting for?'"

Sirius sighed and placed one hand at the back of his head and another on his chin. He tried his "I know exactly what to say here" façade a little bit longer before opening his mouth, and when nothing came out, he relaxed and exhaled heavily. "Okay, Prongs, that question's unreasonably difficult to answer. Pass."

James chuckled quietly.

"But hey, mate…" Sirius said quietly, looking thoughtfully at his friend, "you don't know how hard it is for me, as your best mate, to watch you get hurt by her and go back to her every time. You get all depressed and then you get your hopes up and get rejected again. Any bloke would say she's not worth his time if all she can say is 'no,' but you just seem so set on her. Just please be careful, okay, Prongs? I don't want her to hurt you."

James sighed, knowing he'd have to be careful with Lily, but not in the way Sirius was asking him to. He couldn't promise Sirius that he'd be careful not to get hurt again, because he couldn't _not_ take risks with Lily. So he promised.

"I swear, Padfoot, I'll be careful," he said half-truthfully. This seemed to satisfy Sirius and he clapped him on the shoulder and dragged him away.

"Good, Prongs, very good. I believe you've got Quidditch practice, eh, _Captain_?" he said, winking. James straightened up and walked a little faster to the Common Room, checking his watch.

"Oh, yeah! Thanks, Pads, I owe you! Better hurry, we'll be late!" he said as Sirius chuckled.

* * *

><p>Around five-thirty that afternoon, Clarissa, Dorcas, and Mary sat together in the dorm, attempting to finish Charms essays and study for Potions, but their attempts could not have been more pathetic if they were honest with themselves. It seemed as though they were aiming more for a way to distract themselves from worrying about Lily than for better grades. Clarissa's routine consisted of thumbing through a few pages of notes, scribbling something down, picking up her ukulele, thumbing over the strings before she'd play a song or two quietly, and putting the ukulele back down to study. Dorcas' eyes flashed around the room, never able to stay fixated on one place where her notes were yearning for her undivided attention. Mary tapped her fingers relentlessly as she stared into her parchment, not really seeing the words she'd written.<p>

Finally the clock's ticking became too loud and the time passed too slowly. They had been sitting there for an hour when Dorcas' eyes darted to the clock and it dawned upon her how much time they'd been wasting. "Argh! _MERLIN_!" she cried, frustrated. The other two girls looked up from their lack of work unaffected and stared at her. She leapt off the bed and strode to the middle of the floor, waving her arms wildly as she spoke. "What _are_ we doing? _NOTHING_! I don't know about you guys, but I haven't been able to think about draughts of peace or uses for the _Avis_ charm for more than thirty seconds at a time for the past hour! Tell me I'm not the only one with the problem here, girls, please. Are we _all_ worrying about Lily instead of focusing on our work?" she said, clearly upset.

The conceding nods coming from her two friends didn't help her to calm down, either. "Well, great. What are we going to do? I can't stop fretting about her. She's too thin, she only smiles once a day, and I don't like it. We have to help her somehow. I have no clue what's going on with her, and that keeps me from concentrating on everything the people are expecting me to be able to think about all the time in school!"

Clarissa got off the bed. "You're right, Dorcas. I'm worried, too. Am I the only one who hasn't been sleeping very much these past few nights?" she asked, looking between the two faces who were wondering the same thing. "There's _got_ to be something we can do…hasn't there?" she choked, sounding a lot less confident than she had hoped she did.

"Of course there has," Mary said, sliding off the bed and pacing around the room. She did for several minutes, and Dorcas and Clarissa tried to read through their notes again. Suddenly Mary had an idea. "OH!" she exclaimed loudly, snapping her fingers, smiling widely.

"What?" the other two girls asked. Mary's laugh came loud from her belly. She shook her blonde hair and crossed her arms as though she were someone in charge with lots of power.

"You know those dance parties we have every night of the weekends up in here?" she asked, her grey-green eyes sparkling with delight. The eyebrows of the two girls sitting on the bed shot up immediately, then relaxed as they nodded at each other with smooth, sneaky, knowing smiles.

* * *

><p>Lily sighed and shut the eighth book she'd finished in the last two days. She had almost worn through the whole pile and was starting, she was sad to admit, to get a little bored with reading. She wondered how much longer she'd have to stay here.<p>

That day she'd learned that she might be here longer than only a week. The explosions of pain had suddenly taken a turn for the worst, occurring more frequently than before and much, much more powerful for the first time since the attack had ended. Madam Pomfrey had had to give her more of the first draught she'd drunk when she'd come in…the one that attacked at her burning cuts more aggressively than the cuts were. So she'd worn out her voice much more today than her previous resting days and while it had been returning to normal, it was reduced to a quiet rasp once again now that she had been screeching from the added torment.

Madam Pomfrey said that this wasn't uncommon in caemuspureusento patients, however. The bouts could return, as her body was weaning itself off of the insect venom that had probably been present for a month or more. That explained things, certainly, but it didn't make Lily feel better about having to stay in bed for more than a week. There was no one to keep her company that didn't have to work all the time. Not even one student had come in even for a pepper-up. No injuries in Potions. No fighting that had required short hospitalization. At least the other prefects were doing a good job at managing that without her.

Lily shook her head and wiped a stray, nearly-dried tear from her cheek and shoved the large book onto her side table, crossing her arms and letting her eyes fly to the ceiling, as it was probably the least-stared-at and newest thing to explore. After a few minutes, Lily huffed and kicked the mattress. She was starting to think she might have to admit herself to the psychiatric ward at St. Mungo's soon if she didn't find something else to do besides sleep or read. She could try walking again…or not, she thought, remembering how difficult it was to move her entire leg these days. She felt ready to burst into tears when she could have sworn to the Wizengamot she could hear a familiar ukulele playing the catchy tune of "Layla."

Moments later, Mary burst through the hospital wing doors and belted out,

_"What'll you do when you get lonely_  
><em>And nobody's waiting by your side?"<em>  
>Clarissa slid out from behind Mary, plucking her uke strings and having the time of her life with her rock 'n' roll face. In her best Eric Clapton voice, she punched,<p>

_"You've been running and hiding much too long._  
><em>You know it's just your foolish pride."<em>  
>And that was just the start of it. Lily was smiling widely, and then Dorcas, Marlene, and Hestia ran through the doors to Lily's side and interpretively danced the lyrics they sang:<p>

_"LILY! You've got me on my knees._  
><em>LILY! I'm begging, darling, please.<em>  
><em>LILY! Darling won't you ease my worried mind."<em>

Now they'd done it.  
>Lily burst out into laughter and couldn't stop her giggling. Her friends, determined to make her laugh even more, were unaffected by her continuous ring of hilarity and Marlene went on. With Clarissa strumming and Hestia dancing around wildly, extremely entertained by herself, and Dorcas beat-boxing and striking rock poses and Mary breaking out popular dance moves, she danced and sang,<p>

_"I tried to give you consolation_  
><em>When your old man had let you down.<em>  
><em>Like a fool, I fell in love with you,<em>  
><em>Turned my whole world upside down."<em>

Then all five of them shook their hair back and forth and belted,

_"LILY! You've got me on my knees._  
><em>LILY! I'm begging, darling, please.<em>  
><em>LILY! Darling, won't you ease my worried mind."<em>

By now, Lily was unable to sit still, tears pouring out of her eyes as she laughed and danced along as best she could. She'd missed their last dance party, since she'd been stuck here, and was glad to be jamming with her friends even for a little bit without her legs. She joined them with what voice she could manage in the final verse and chorus:

_"Let's make the best of the situation_  
><em>Before I finally go insane.<em>  
><em>Please don't say we'll never find a way<em>  
><em>And tell me all my love's in vain.<em>

_"LILY! You've got me on my knees._  
><em>LILY! I'm begging, darling, please.<em>  
><em>LILY! Darling, won't you ease my worried mind."<em>

The six girls struck one final pose before collapsing, out of breath and giggling frantically. "Oh, Merlin's beard! I _love_ you guys! _SO MUCH_!" Lily squealed between fits of sniggering. She wiped her eyes and allowed herself to breathe, feeling much better after a great chuckle like that. "That made my day so much better! You three are too much!"

The girls stopped laughing and clutched their aching sides happily. "We missed you this weekend, Lil! We _knew_ you couldn't resist a spontaneous dorm dance!" Hestia breathed, giddy as Peeves the Poltergeist.

"That was so much fun!" Marlene cried ecstatically.

"I'll never look at any of you the same ever again! We _only_ do that in the dorm!" Clarissa guffawed. "What if someone saw?"

"Someone _did_!" Madam Pomfrey's voice boomed congenially across the wing, causing the girls to fall down in laughter once again. Her shoes clacked on the floor as she strode over, smiling, and crossed her arms. "Enjoy being young, ladies," she said sentimentally. "How are you feeling, Miss Evans?"

Lily smiled at Madam Pomfrey and jutted her elbow toward her friends. "So much better right now, thanks to them, Madam," she said, every fiber of her manifested with gratitude. The girls smiled at Madam Pomfrey as she left, satisfied, and then at Lily.

"Well, Lilsie, we just came to cheer you up a bit, but we've got to finish the Charms essay and there's a major point-earning opportunity for Gryffindor in Potions tomorrow. See you tomorrow, Lily. You need to sleep," Mary commented responsibly, and got up to hug Lily. The girls all said goodbye and Hestia stayed behind again. She knelt quickly by Lily's side when they had left.

"So," she began slyly. Lily averted her eyes uncomfortably.

"Erm…so."

"So."

"So? So what?"

"I heard Potter gave you quite the surprise yesterday, Lily," she remarked, raising an eyebrow, smiling shrewdly. Lily chuckled as Hestia eyed the box that had been left on her side table, still glowing occasionally with the fireworks.

"Hestie, why aren't you in Slytherin? You're certainly cunning enough," she giggled.

"Not the time to change the subject, Evans," Hestia stated like a professional.

"O…okay, then," Lily murmured, unsure of what Hestia was getting at. "Hest, what are you talking about?"

"You should have seen him in Charms, today, Lils. Something's off with him. He was writing, really-"

"He was _writing_?"

"Interruptions are unacceptable, Evans." Lily snorted. "I'm being completely serious, Lily. Yes, he was writing, and really fast, too. It was like lightning!"

"So?"

"I don't know." Lily's jaw dropped, and her tone became frustrated.

"So why'd you bring him up?"

"Because I like messing with you."

Lily shook her head as an almost evil smile spread over Hestia's lips. "You little Slytherin, you are." Now it was Hestia's turn to be in shock.

"Lily! That is _not _nice of you!"

"Am I capable of being mean?"

"Considering Potter's place in your life, yes."

"That's a good Hestia."

After a nice snicker, Hestia left to finish her work and Lily fell asleep and stayed passed out through the night, calmer than a draught of peace ever could have made her.


	13. You For a Day or Two

Severus skulked down the corridors the next morning on his way to breakfast, and passed by a rather large group of third and fourth year girls from Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor all huddled together by a window near the entrance. He shivered. _Bloody stupid girls_, he thought, _it's almost October and they're standing near the cold air, of all places._ "Ugh," he sighed, annoyed, until his ears caught a too-familiar name as he was passing by, causing him to nearly stop short. Instead, he slowed his walk and pretended to dig through his overstuffed, bulky bag.

"Lily Evans? Oh, yeah! I walked by the hospital wing and heard her scream again. Poor thing, she must be feeling so awful," a fourth year Ravenclaw commented sympathetically.

"I'll say. I heard from Mary Reed yesterday that she hasn't been eating much yet and she still can't walk!" A loud gasp emitted from the entire group upon hearing the third year Hufflepuff's mention of such a horrid idea.

"That must be terrible! I wonder how bored that girl gets! Dorcas Meadows said just the other day that all the books she's been reading through don't seem to help her feel better at all!" said a third year Ravenclaw with brown hair and teal eyes. An even more shocked utterance escaped each girl.

"Wait a minute. You're telling me that _Lily Evans_, smartest girl and best reader at Hogwarts, is getting _bored_ with reading?" a Gryffindor fourth year observed. The brunette nodded.

"I am. I wonder what else she can do besides sleep?"

"Not much, I gather," a blonde fourth year Hufflepuff put in. Everyone nodded.

"Wait. Did you guys hear what the Marauders gave her?" said another black-haired Gryffindor excitedly. All ears in the group perked up, including Severus', and he stood a bit closer, suddenly becoming very immersed in his Transfigurations notes.

"No!-What?-Now what have they done?-Was it nice?-Did she like it?-What is it?" several voices said at once. The black-haired girl put up her hands to calm everyone down, and a girlish smile spread over her expression as she described the Marauders' get-well gift to Lily. Severus felt his ears burn as, no doubt, steam was pouring out of them in his indignation. He forced himself to calm down as all the girls gushed, but his efforts soon proved infeasible.

"And do you know the best part?" the Gryffindor asked slyly. The girls paid rapt attention all at once and Severus strained his ears to hear as the girl elatedly whispered, "I heard from Marlene McKinnon and Hestia Jones that it was all _James Potter's_ idea!"

Loud shrieks and swoons fled every girl's lungs, and Severus gritted his teeth as he walked away, unable to hear more. It was that _Potter's_ fault that Lily was no longer his friend in the first place, and now that foul, filthy git was taking advantage of the fact that he was no longer around to keep Lily away from him. He set his face as he shuffled into the Great Hall and plopped into a seat at the Slytherin table next to Avery and Mulciber. After adhering to the standard morning greetings, he grabbed himself some food and used their intense conversation as an opportunity to sneak a glance at the Gryffindor table, where the Marauders were joking among themselves. He saw Black whip his hair out of his face as he spoke to the air above him dramatically, earning giggly stares from some girls down the table and hearty chuckles from Lupin, Pettigrew, and Potter himself. Severus' black, beady eyes narrowed on Potter as though they were his wand firing the Killing Curse. _Bloody hell, dash it all_! he thought when his death glare didn't work.

* * *

><p>"And that, my dear friends, is how one would properly keep Minnie from giving him detention," Sirius said, sitting back down in his seat and ignoring the wild applause from his three friends as he bulldozed through his toast in one bite.<p>

"You know, Padfoot, maybe I've underestimated you," James commented with his mouth full of oatmeal, "You'll be quite successful in life if you can weasel your way out of anything like that."

"Oh, Prongsie, you've _always_ underestimated my talent. Don't worry, mate, I'll share, I know you're just dying for some," Sirius replied with a smirk. James chuckled and swallowed his oatmeal.

"Oi, Prongs. Don't look now, but with a face like that looking this way, you'll be dead before you can acquire any skill of Padfoot's," Remus observed quietly, jabbing his spoon in the direction of the Slytherin table. James moved his head to the side and used only his peripheral vision to catch a certain Snape scowling most emphatically at him.

"Who, Snivellus?" James questioned as he turned his back to the offending party and stole some toast from Peter's plate. Shoving it into his mouth, he thrust his thumb at the Slytherin table and smirked. "Please, Moony. I could take him in a duel any day. He wouldn't even be able to see me! He's got too much grease in his eyes from that animal that always sits on his head." Peter and Sirius snorted into their food.

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Whatever you say, Prongs. I still say we've got to keep an eye open for him and that group of his, anyhow…Merlin knows what kind of things they've been doing after hours in the corridors with their spells and potions and what else. I've caught them nearly every night I'm on patrol. I had to have more backup the other night, but when Lily's around they'll usually do as she says."

"Of course," Sirius coughed. Peter and Remus snickered. James caught what Sirius meant and shrugged.

"Sirius," he said with a forced snicker.

"Oi, right, mate, I forgot you were still here." James drew back, faking offense.

"Ouch, Padfoot! I can't believe you think Snivellus Snape could have killed me already! Now _you're_ the one to have underestimated _me_!" Sirius, Remus, and Peter nearly fell into their food from laughing.

* * *

><p>"Come on, Lily, you can do it. You know how tired you are of the wheelchair," Madam Pomfrey gently coaxed. Lily had thrown the covers off and was attempting to try and walk, but immense pain had shot through her legs just after painstakingly swinging them over the side. She now sat up, rubbing them, tears threatening their way to her eyes. She refused to grant them permission to fall and blinked them back.<p>

"I…I don't know. I really need to shower, Madam. I can't possibly walk yet. It still hurts." Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"If you say so," she said as Lily somehow eased herself into the wheelchair from the bed, grabbing the clothes from her friends that had been left untouched since the Sunday she'd woken up. This had been her only mode of transportation around the hospital wing for days. She hadn't showered since the attack and it was already Thursday, and she was grateful that she could at least move her arms now, but she really missed her legs. _If I could eat more, I wouldn't have this problem_, she thought, glowering at her legs. Madam Pomfrey took notice of her dissatisfaction and kneaded her shoulders.

"Don't worry, Lily. Everything will get better soon. If only you wouldn't vomit every time I try to feed you a decent meal." Now, Lily let the tears fall. It was true. She'd only been able to eat tiny amounts of food the past few days and her stomach had gotten used to it with the added help of having poison in her system for the past month. So most of the time, Lily could barely finish a sandwich. If she timed a meal just right, though, she could down it all and not throw up later. For now, that was just a risk she would have to take.

"How much longer until I can eat, Madam?" Lily asked with a hand on her grumbling stomach as Madam Pomfrey carted her through the wing to the hospital's lavatory.

"I'll give you something to eat in a little while, Lily. Right after you finish your bath, all right?" Lily nodded, desperately wishing that today would be the day that she could start to eat normal again. Once in the lavatory, she undressed and, without her legs, lowered herself into the prepared bath, grateful to finally cleanse herself. She nearly fell asleep in it, glad to be somewhere else than that bed or leaning over a bucket.

Lily ran her fingers through her hair as she dunked her head underneath the surface. _Ahhh. I forgot what it feels like to feel good,_ she thought. She smiled to herself as she resurfaced and shampooed and conditioned the life out of her hair. The last time she'd been doing that, she'd been most rudely interrupted by horrible pangs that felt like a million knives. Her eyes widened as the thought raced across her mind, and she refused to think about it again as she washed away sweat, blood, and shedding skin. It felt heavenly.

When she was done, she laid her head back on the edge of the tub and subconsciously flexed and pointed her toes under the water. Instead of the pain she'd been feeling, a nice, stretching sensation touched her to the tendon. She brought her knees up and thankfully extended them out again, heaving a sigh of relief. That was definitely a good sign. She hoisted herself out of the tub and dried herself off, inching into the fresh t-shirt and running shorts her friends had brought as though they were priceless dress robes. Then she climbed up into the wheelchair and rolled herself back into the wing as Madam Pomfrey was cleaning her sheets.

"Feeling better?" she asked, seeing that Lily had gotten out all by herself. Lily smiled and nodded.

"Much. Look," she said, bring one foot up to straighten her leg out and bending her knee again. "It doesn't hurt!"

"Wonderful! Oh, Lily, that is good, that's very, _very_ good!"

"Can I eat normally now?" Madam Pomfrey giggled.

"Probably," she said.

"Yes!" Lily whispered victoriously.

* * *

><p>Severus wasn't sure how he ended up in the hospital wing, but the last thing he'd remembered was walking past the Great Hall, and the library, and now, he was suddenly blinking in the sincere afternoon light that the wing's many windows let in. Lily glared as soon as her eyes fell upon him. He opened his mouth to say something, but it hung there, the words stuck in his throat.<p>

"What do you _want_, Snape?" she spat. He didn't know what to say. He shut his mouth and stared at Lily's thin, pale figure. The sparkle that was usually present in her bright green eyes was gone, except for a few tears he could see gleaming behind her eyelashes.

Lily began to feel uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze. His beady, black eyes willed him to communicate what his voice couldn't. He wanted to be her friend again more than anything. True as that may be, Lily thought, she couldn't do it. Their friendship was long over, even before he'd called her Mudblood.

"_What_, Snape?"

"I-er-erm…n-nothing." He gulped.

"Okay," she said, her eyes darting to the door, signaling him to take about five steps backward so she wouldn't have to look at him anymore.

"I…"

"Goodbye, Snape."

"Erm…yeah. Goodbye." He inched towards the door nervously and pushed it open, pausing to say, "I'm sorry," before he left. Lily ground her teeth as the door shut behind him.

"Gah!" she grunted as the pains came back. Angrily, she picked up her pillow and slammed her face into it, screeching out the pent-up anger towards him. After about thirty seconds of that, her lungs couldn't give anymore and she coughed, flopping back on the pillow. Severely feeling the need to pace and rant, Lily ripped her sheets off. She swiped her legs to the floor and jerked one foot in front of the other bit by bit, stomping once in a while to stave off the pain that was still shooting through her, gripping the ends of the wing's beds as she made her way up and down the aisle.

"Lily!" a voice shrieked. Lily had been facing the far wall of the wing and turned abruptly. There her friends stood, gaping at her. She was about to ask them what was wrong, when she looked down at her feet and realized she was standing up…walking. She pulled the hair that had fallen over her eyes in her anger behind her ears and gasped.

"Merlin! I'm _walking!_" she squealed, delighted. Now that she was consciously moving on her own, her actions felt jerked and not in the least bit graceful, but she was walking, and she was glad. She grabbed onto Dorcas' elbows as she rushed over when Lily looked like she was about to topple. "I'm walking! I'm walking!" she squeaked euphorically. "Oh, yes!" she cried as she crushed Dorcas' neck in a hug. The entire group rushed over and hugged Lily. Madam Pomfrey came out of the supply room after hearing all the shrieking, and breathed a heavy sigh of liberation upon seeing Lily standing.

"Oh, Miss Evans, you've done it! I knew you could!" she cried, clapping her hands. Lily beamed.

"Can I eat more now, then? This is absolutely _exhausting_," she said dramatically, rubbing her stomach. Everyone erupted into fits of giggles and Madam Pomfrey nodded.

"Of course! Now go sit down and I'll have the elves bring something up right away!" she said enthusiastically, practically skipping on her way out of the wing. "You girls don't let this one get into trouble, now!" she sang. The girls picked Lily up and dropped her back down on the bed. Lily's sides ached from laughing, and she realized that the pains that had appeared when Snape arrived had gone with him.

"Oh, guys," she sighed, "you have no idea how great that felt!" Everyone high-fived her.

"I bet it did, Lil! You look ecstatic!" Marlene proclaimed, grabbing Lily's hairbrush and working it through her very long, red tresses.

"How did you do that?" Clarissa asked. "You looked positively unfit for anything like that this morning!" Lily sighed.

"Well…I guess some things can make a person angry enough to get them so subconsciously motivated to shove trifling pain on its pathetic arse," she chuckled, looking to her friends' confused faces. "Snape was here," she added quietly. The girls nodded, understanding. "No matter," she huffed, "tonight I _pig out! Finally!_" The girls let out celebratory whoops and helped her with her hair and makeup.

"Here, Lily," Mary said as she gently applied Lily's mascara, "you look perfect without this anyway, but now you look perfectly angelic!" Lily flashed her a cute grin.

"Well, thank you, Reed! I'd say the same about you!" she bubbled. Marlene finished braiding her hair.

"There you go, Lily. Feel better?" she asked, patting her on the back.

"Simply wonderful," Lily breathed, lying back on the pillow. "So! What's happening today?" she asked, pulling the blanket over her chilled legs and comfortably placing her hands behind her head. Her friends stared. She furrowed her brow. "What?" she asked.

"You look great," Dorcas commented. "You look so much better than you have all week. You just look happy." Lily shrugged.

"What can I say? I'm a walking woman now." At this her friends snickered. Her head started to throb. "Ah," she groaned, bring her hand around to grip her forehead. "Ah, yes, perhaps I've put forth a bit too much effort today. Black must have been here and had some effect on me, because I am feeling positively _lazy_." Their giggles intensified and Lily chuckled at her own joke. "No, but really. What's happening today?" she persisted.

Hestia happily told Lily all about Opheria Mark losing fifteen points for Slytherin when she had hexed one of the Hufflepuffs during Transfigurations. Lily smirked. "Nice work, Professor McGonagall. Nice work, indeed. How is she this week, anyway?"

Clarissa shrugged. "A bit worse than usual. She seems to miss you, Lilsie. She's asked about you several times. You're one of her top students and a faithful Gryffindor. I think not always having someone know the answers in class is getting to her this week."

Lily smiled sadly. "I kind of miss her class, too. She's a good teacher, no matter what anyone says," she exhaled. "How was Potions?"

"Interesting," Marlene said questioningly. "Potter earned us fifteen points."

Lily's eyebrows shot up. "_Potter_ did? He's horrible at Potions. _Fifteen_ points? Merlin, what the world comes to when I'm in here." Marlene shrugged.

"He's been a lot more diligent with his school work these past few days, it seems. This isn't the first time it's happened. It's kind of weird," she observed. Lily wrinkled her nose.

"Well, I'm too tired to question why Potter's all of a sudden acting like a model student. What else is happening?" she huffed.

"What did Snape say to you?" Mary asked hesitantly. Lily blew a stray piece of hair out of her eye.

"Nothing. He was just here all of a sudden, staring at me. I told him to leave, though, and he didn't protest much. He said he was sorry, again," she muttered, exasperated.

"Well, he should be. Especially after…well, you know," Dorcas said defiantly, crossing her arms. Lily nodded, tears threatening to sting at her cornea.

"Yeah. He certainly showed me where his loyalties lie. I should have seen that coming so much sooner, though. Do you know how much time I wasted worrying about that lousy git? I could have moved on with my life instead of having him insult me in front of everyone and have our friendship end that way," she sniffed.

"Oh, Lily. You know everyone was on your side when he said that," Clarissa heartened, chafing Lily's lower arm. Lily nodded with the rest of her friends.

"Yeah, I suppose. It seemed like they were all on Potter's side, though. Gah! He's ruddy annoying, I tell you."

"Has he been in here?" Mary prodded. Lily shook her head.

"No…well, yes. Once, I think. He didn't say very much, though. Just that he was sorry this happened to me and all those sentimental regards. I was surprised. Pleasantly, I suppose, though. He was actually kind of nice to me," Lily added. "Wait, how did we get back to talking about him? I thought we got off that subject."

"You brought him up, Lil."

"Did not!"

"Yes, you did!"

"No way!"

"Way!"

"Oh, shut up. Let's talk about those gorgeous dress robes we looked at in Hogsmeade not too long ago," Lily put in, smoothly changing the subject. All the girls immediately gushed.

"Oh, they were beautiful!"

"I'd say we'd look like stars in those!"

"So perfect!"

"I know!"

"Oh, Lily! We almost forgot to tell you! There's going to be an Autumn Halloween Dance this year!" Marlene cried excitedly. Lily's eyes brightened.

"Really? Wow! Now we can take our sick Friday night moves out of the dorm and onto the dance floor!" she chatted. Everyone laughed.

"I thought we agreed never to let those stray outside our dorm door. We're so embarrassing!" Hestia exclaimed.

"Please. We'd be instant sensations!" Dorcas stated dramatically, like some of the Muggle movie stars from the thirties.

"All we need is some practice!" Clarissa said enthusiastically. Lily giggled.

"Either way, I'll finally have an excuse to buy some dress robes! Once I can walk around without looking like that clumsy bartender at the Leaky Cauldron, anyway," she said warmly.

"No one's talking about bringing dates, either, Lil. Everyone can just go and have fun without worrying," Marlene told her. Lily sat up straighter and babbled gleefully.

"Oh, _great!_ Now I don't have to sit around awkwardly all evening with some strange male! I can hang with you all! Believe me, you're a lot more fun. Boys stink," she smiled sweetly. Everyone sniggered and agreed with her.

"Lily, Lily, Lily. Even when you're recovering from a major ailment, you're too funny. I can't wait for you to get better so the dorm isn't such a dull place!" Mary said affectionately. "We miss you!" Lily socked her in the arm playfully.

"I miss you guys, too. And I really miss eating, too. Say, where's Madam Pomfrey with my first meal in six days?" she asked, looking around. At her friends' head-shaking, she smiled. "No matter. If I'm finally eating again, I'll only be in here another few days, hopefully."

* * *

><p>The girls diligently finished their homework that night. With few distractions, they had finished everything by dinner time and felt fairly prepared for their classes. Back in the Great Hall, as soon as they had all sank into their seats, happy with their visit with Lily, they were bombarded with questions from every house. Well, except Slytherin. How was Lily? Was she still sleeping? Is she still in pain? Screaming? Is she oh-so-bored up there (from a very airheaded fifth year)? What was she wearing? Why did that creepy guy just ask that? Did all the guys want to know how she looked? After answering the many questions, the girls finally got to eat.<p>

"Yesh!" Clarissa gasped, shooing the last member of Lily's paparazzi away. "You'd think she was famous!"

"Yeah, really!" Hestia snorted, happy to dig in to vegetables for once. Dorcas, Marlene, Mary, and Clarissa looked up from their plates briefly and did a double-take, shock in their expressions. Hestia looked with them.

A even more messy-haired than usual James Potter was sleepily walking in alone. Hestia and the girls discreetly watched the concerned faces of the other three Marauders as he drooped into his seat. "What's with him?" Marlene wondered out loud.

"I don't know, but he looks horrible," Dorcas added. The other four girls nodded, agreeing that the puffy-eyed, studious, bedhead-bearing James Potter wasn't exactly a good change in their daily lives.


	14. Working Fast

James could hardly hold his head up straight. About eight times, during _dinner_ of all hours, Sirius caught his head from nodding straight into his soup. "Prongs, we all knew you had a big head before, but this is getting a little bit troublesome," he said, like a concerned parent. "Prongs?"

James wasn't listening. He was staring at a stray carrot in his soup. "Prongs!" Sirius said, louder. James' head shot up and his hands flew to his hair.

"Whoa-what-yeah!" he stuttered. "What, Padfoot?"

"You have a problem. I just made a wonderful joke at your expense, and you don't laugh, first of all, and then you don't even pretend I've hurt your manly ego. What's with you?" Sirius asked, annoyed. Remus and Peter stared, surprised at James' inability to pay attention to his best friends.

James forced a laugh. "I'm sorry, mate," he yawned. "I haven't been sleeping well this week."

"Well, rest up tonight, Prongs, trust me. You've done _enough_ studying. And that's coming from me," Remus observed. "Sleep tonight so we can have fun tomorrow, mate! You've only got one weekend before your crunch time! The match against Ravenclaw is next weekend."

"I know, Moony, I know when the match is. And…what if I don't do well on the Transfigurations test tomorrow, eh? What'll I do about that? I have to study!" James said frantically. Both of his shoulders were pushed down by the hands of Sirius and Remus.

"Prongs? Calm down, hear me? Calm down. For _you_ to be worried that you won't do well in Transfigurations? That's absurd. That is your best subject. You'll be fine. Minnie said this test wasn't going to be very difficult anyway, and you've studied your arse off this week," Sirius coaxed.

"That's right!" Peter piped in, happily chewing on a head of broccoli.

"Padfoot and Wormtail are right, Prongs. Just calm down. Promise me you won't study any more tonight? Just sleep. Please. You look horrible and you aren't yourself." James sighed and nodded.

"Fine. But Sirius is going to have to beg for a better grade for me if I don't do well," he said, looking askance at his best friend.

"Gladly."

* * *

><p>That night James woke up again. "Apologize to Evans!" he groaned, biting back at Snape's horrid comment to Lily. His friends stirred as he realized he was in his dorm, not outside near the lake. He stretched his arms up and tried to go back to sleep. The voices in his head kept snapping him awake whenever he was just about to drift off, though. He glanced at the clock through his glasses sitting on the side table. Three in the morning. Great.<p>

"Prongs?" Remus' tired groan came from across the room. "You all right, mate?" James sat up and shook his head.

"Nope. I can't get back to sleep, Moony."

He saw Remus sit up and rub his face in the dark. "Why?"

"I'm having the dream again. You know, that one about what happened this past spring." Remus sighed.

"Oi, Prongs. Just confess that you feel bad about that to me so we can get some sleep."

"That was a horrible thing of me to do to her, wasn't it? Hexing her best friend, and then asking her out like that. It was awful, wasn't it, Remus?"

"Yeah, mate."

"What should I do?"

"Go back to sleep. Admitting you've done wrong will help you."

"Okay. I've done wrong. _I _need to apologize to Evans, too. Merlin, Moony, I'm doing that 'maturing' thing you always talk about…Moony?" A snore from Remus' bed indicated that he'd gone back to sleep, and James did too, feeling a little bit better. He'd see Lily tomorrow and he'd apologize to her.

* * *

><p>Friday's lessons weren't entertaining, to say the least. James needn't have worried about the Transfigurations test, because even Sirius had bothered to read the first page of his notes and did well. James had taken only five minutes to zoom through every question. Remus clapped him on the back when it was over.<p>

"I told you, mate. You're great at that subject! No worries." James chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, Moony, I get it. You told me so. You too, Padfoot," he added before Sirius could say anything. Sirius just laughed.

"What Moony said."

"What are we doing tonight?" Peter asked, trailing along behind them as the last lesson ended.

"Quidditch practice, then whatever we want!" James said, perking up and high-fiving Sirius.

"Within reason," Remus added.

"Good thing any reason of ours doesn't outweigh a teaspoon!" Sirius smirked, his eyes twinkling.

The four boys chuckled. James hurried back to the Common Room to change for practice and then flew out to the pitch. Clarissa Cook, the Keeper, was already there with Marlene McKinnon and Conrad Swann, both Chasers, and so were the beaters, Dane Brown and Henry Jordan, along with the Seeker, Eric Mason. _Perfect_, James thought as he rounded up the team and shouted for them to follow him on his broom.

An hour and a half later, the team headed back to the Castle. James caught up with Marlene and Clarissa on the way up. "Good job, you two. Keep it up!" he encouraged.

"Thanks, James! Not a bad afternoon at all! Do you suppose we'll beat Ravenclaw?" Marlene asked. James nodded.

"I'd say we have a fair chance. Just keep the good work going and we'll have it sealed. How's Evans doing?" he said quickly. He ignored Clarissa as she bit back a snort of laughter. Marlene looked at her and patted her on the back.

"Calm down, Rissa. Oh, she's all right. Finally started walking yesterday, she did. Madam let her eat a whole meal, too, and this time she didn't puke it all up. It's been a long week, but at least we know she's making progress now," Marlene chatted nonchalantly. James' lips broke into a smile. Maybe now she'd be in the mood to talk to him…or feeling better enough to keep an argument going between them. He winced. He'd have to catch her while she was just waking up, or something, so she would listen to him.

"Hey, James?" Marlene was saying. James realized he'd been staring at the sky and letting his thoughts drift.

"What? Sorry, Marlene," he answered. Marlene chuckled and shook her head.

"Never mind," she said. James shrugged and jogged inside.

* * *

><p>Remus peered around the corner and motioned for Peter, Sirius, and James to follow. It was after dinner and the Marauders were spending some quality time together, placing haphazard charms in any place for an innocent student to walk into. None dangerous, just funny. These were minor pranking charms, too. Most of them were designed to spread Gryffindor spirit, as were many Marauder pranks that preceded a Quidditch match. They'd save the bigger ones for after the victory next weekend.<p>

James and Remus quickly cast a charm on the designated area that their prey would walk into, then they jumped behind some tapestries as a pair of shuffling footsteps began to sound through the corridors. The four smiled sneakily as one another, and Peter stuck his head out from behind the tapestry.

"Bloody hell, Pete, stay back!" Sirius hissed, dragging Peter inside.

"But, guys, it's…" he began.

"Hush up, Wormy!" Remus hissed.

"But…"

"SHH!" James hushed, slamming a hand over Peter's mouth. "Be quiet." Peter obeyed, and the footsteps came closer. Finally a pop was heard and the words "GO GO GRYFFINDOR!" repeated themselves over and over. The Marauders, bending over with laughter, stepped out from behind the tapestry, laughing some more, until…

"YOU!" a very, _very _angry voice roared. James wiped the tears pouring out of his eyes and cut the snickering for a moment to look up…

"Snivelly, I _knew _you'd see things our way eventually! We're so glad you came around!" Sirius teased a seething Snape standing before them, his entire body and uniform painted in scarlet and gold. James couldn't be sure, but it looked like Snape's face was getting even redder than the paint. He was _really_ mad. James fingered his wand and a million defense spells came to his mind.

"Er-eh-erm, Padfoot," James stuttered, seeing Snape's hand fly to his pocket and draw out his wand fast. James stood between Snape and Sirius and brandished his wand. "Don't you do _anything_ to him, Snivellus. You'll regret it," he threatened.

"Out of my way, Potter," Snape spat back, spraying saliva in James' eye.

"_No_," James said firmly, blinking out Snape's DNA. Quickly Snape raised his wand and James' arm followed.

"_Sectum-Rictasempra_!" the spells fired simultaneously. They hit one another and the effects of both spells were sent to their casters. Snape began giggling furiously, more affected by James' Tickling Charm than his cutting spell, but small streams of blood flowed from his ankles. James, however was much more impacted by the more dangerous of the two. Blood pooled on the floor, spurting from his arms, legs, and face. His vision was clouded and stung as the blood found its way into his eyes and his head crashed on the floor as his knees buckled.

"Why…YOU!" Remus pushed Snape away. "SHOVE OFF, SNIVELLUS!" Snape, too busy laughing to care, sauntered away, leaving a tiny trail of blood. Sirius, in a panic, was kneeling next to his friend and Peter chewed his nails as he squeaked nervously. "The hospital wing, Padfoot! Hurry!" Remus shouted, draping one of James' arms around his shoulder and the other around Sirius'. The three fully-conscious Marauders half-dragged the barely-conscious Marauder to the hospital wing, which, thank Merlin, was close by.

Inside, Madam Pomfrey was holding back the hair and chafing the shoulders of a vomiting Lily, who was keeled over a bucket, looking horribly pale when the four burst in, babbling all sorts of things to Madam Pomfrey. She caught what they were saying and instructed them to place the sputtering, heavily breathing James on one of the cots. She quickly gave him a potion to help him breathe and went to work healing the cuts with her healing charms.

"Lily, dear, are you all right over there while I take care of him?" she called to Lily with her wand poised over James' bloody body. Lily coughed into the bucket again and gave Madam Pomfrey a thumbs-up. Madam Pomfrey winced and nodded. "Okay, thank you," she shouted, then muttered the incantations. But Lily was about to faint, and Remus recognized this. He dashed over to her and held her up, making sure she couldn't choke on her own bile.

"Padfoot! Get me those smelling salts!" he gasped as Lily wilted in his arms. "She fainted, Madam!" Sirius dashed over and waved the salts in front of her nose. Her eyes fluttered open again and settled on the bucket of her sick.

"Ewww," she groaned, holding her stomach. She sat down and Remus let her go tentatively. "Did _I _do that?" she asked weakly, pointing to the bucket. Remus and Sirius grimaced and nodded. Lily sighed, "Lovely," and tried to stand up, but lost her balance and nearly hit her head on a bed before Remus caught her.

"Come on, Lily, let's get you to bed," he eased. Lily nodded, disoriented, and let Sirius and Remus drag her to her cot at the other end of the wing. A few moments later, Madam Pomfrey rushed over. James' coughing and gasping had stopped, tiny bandages had appeared all over him, and he was unconscious. Seeing his friends' worried looks, she assuaged them.

"He'll wake up in a little while. For now he's got to rest and get all that blood back. And you three need to leave. I'll take care of them both." The three Marauders obeyed and left the wing.


	15. Feeling Better

James awoke with a start. Snivellus had his wand raised and was about to hit him with that cutting spell of his…

He sat up, panting slightly, and looked around before sighing in liberation. Snivellus was nowhere to be found, he was in the hospital wing and healing from the spell Snape _had_ hit him with. Wait…the _hospital wing!_ He glanced down the row of cots on his side but found that he had been moved. Merlin's beard, _he was right next to Lily Evans!_ He ruffled his hair nervously.

She was asleep. She looked better asleep this time than she had that first day he'd been in here, but now she was paler, because he noticed she'd been retching again when his friends dragged him in here. He looked up and they were gone, too. He hoped Snivelly hadn't found them again, because he'd looked so funny in Gryffindor's colors, fuming with anger. James chuckled lightly at the memory and looked down at himself when stinging sensations shot through his torso.

His shirt was off and discarded on the side table next to his bed. His right arm was in a sling and completely _covered_ in cuts underneath the large bandage wrapped around the whole thing, he guessed. His chest, stomach, back, neck, feet, hands, and head were wrapped in bandages also. His left arm seemed to be the only thing that had escaped Snape's spell. He brought his bandaged left hand to his calves underneath his pants and found no bandages there, either. _Phew,_ he thought, _at least I can still walk…I think._

The hospital wing was very quiet. He didn't see Madam Pomfrey anywhere, and the only thing that could be heard was Lily's light breathing as she slept. _Huh_, he thought. Funny he should end up in here when she was in here and he needed to tell her how sorry he was for embarrassing her and hexing her best friend that day at the lake after last year's O.W.L.s. The memories of it kept playing in his head like a horrible tweenie-bopper's broken record and he yearned to talk to Lily and apologize to her.

He wouldn't have to wait much longer. About fifteen minutes after he woke up, Lily's sleepy breathing turned in to gasping to coughing to grunting herself awake. She shifted uncomfortably in her bed and flinched wherever the pain might hit. Soon he was watching in horror as she burst into tears and bellowed for Madam Pomfrey, who came rushing out of the office. Upon seeing James stunned and five shades paler from seeing Lily like that, she pulled the panel around Lily's cot and rushed around it to her with one of her potions just in time for Lily's crying to break into screams and loud sobbing. He desperately wanted to know what was happening behind the panel, but all he could hear was Lily's screaming and Madam Pomfrey's firm commands.

"Sit up, Lily! Come on, now, drink this!" she said frantically.

"AGH! IT HURTS!"

"There, there, Miss Evans, you've almost got it all down, keep going!"

"OH MY MERLIN! GAHHH! HELP! AAAGGGGHHHH! I'M DYING!"

"No, Lily, you're not dying! Today's simply been especially good for you in recovery!"

"THIS IS GOOD?"

"No, no, no, Lily! You know what I mean!"

"AGH!"

"Lily, it's okay! Only a few more minutes!"

"I CAN'T EVEN TAKE ONE MORE _SECOND_ OF THIS…BLOODY HELL! I'M BLEEDING!"

"_Again?_ I'll get the rags!"

"IT'S A LOT! HURRY!" Lily continued to grumble in pain as Madam Pomfrey practically _sprinted _from behind the panel, past a shocked James, and into the office and back, carrying several wet rags for Lily's blood. She stopped abruptly at James' bed and saw his wide eyes.

"She'll be fine, Mr. Potter, this happens a lot with patients of her sickness. Here, drink this," she said, handing him a blue draught of some sort. When he hesitated, she opened his mouth and poured it in herself. He choked and sputtered.

"What does that do Madam Pomfrey?" he asked.

"It'll have you knocked out momentarily, Mr. Potter. Good night."

"_Knocked out? _But…wha-" He didn't finish his sentence. He was already asleep.

* * *

><p>James coughed and forced his eyes open. He covered his cough with his good arm and got a hold on his breathing after a few moments. Everything was quiet and he remembered where he was and the circumstances surrounding his nap. Madam Pomfrey must have given him the instant knock-out draught that only lasted for about an hour and a half, because the dimming light outside not different from the light when he'd fallen asleep suggested he hadn't been sleeping long. He glanced over at Lily's bed, expecting to see the panel there.<p>

Instead, his eyes met with a sight his Auror parents had seldom described to him about a fellow Auror who had been tortured by an enemy. Lying motionless, facial expression similar to that of stone, staring at the wall ahead of her, and tears streaming quietly down her cheeks, Lily very much resembled the Aurors in the stories they hesitated to tell him. Her eyes held the trace of total defenselessness, which made her look more scared and more broken than he'd ever seen anyone. He knew she was awake and that now was his chance. He found his wand in the heap of his shirt on his side table and pointed it at the place on the wall where Lily was staring. A colorful lily like the one he'd given her in her 'get well' present grew on the wall. He stopped for a moment to look at her. She'd seen it, and began to look exhausted instead of sad.

It was a start, he figured. He pointed his wand at the lily and used it to pluck it off the wall and glide it through the air to land at Lily's feet, twining its ivy on the metal foot of the bed. Lily stared at it for a moment longer, then turned her blank gaze to him. She tried to clear her throat, caught her breath, and whispered, "Thank you."

James had to work hard not to let his smile turn into that creepily goofy one that crossed his countenance whenever she looked at him. Instead, he allowed the smile tugging at his lips only a little room for growth. "You're welcome," he murmured, just as softly as she had. After she had turned her head forward again and closed her eyes, he asked, "Are you okay?" She opened her eyes and only furrowed her brow as though she was about to cry again, and shook her head. James sighed.

"I'm so sorry," he said gently. "I'm so sorry for this and for every time I was such a git to you. You don't deserve any of it." With a sudden burst of energy, Lily's eyes darted straight to him.

* * *

><p><em>He just said that? James Potter just apologized for being the world's biggest prat?<em> Lily wondered as she narrowed her eyes at him and her jaw dropped in surprise. What could have brought him to this?

"Excuse me?" she managed, squeaking quietly. James sighed and ruffled his hair.

"Evans, it was wrong of me to treat your best friend the way I did and then turn around and embarrass you like that. You deserve to be treated better than that. You don't have to forgive me…I just wanted to say that. You deserve so much better." James' eyes dropped to his bandaged arm as his other arm occupied itself in messing up his hair. It was a nervous habit of his, but he remembered too late that Lily had also said that day that it was part of what made her sick about him, and he jerked his hand away from his head.

Lily's mouth was suddenly very dry. She closed it and ran her tongue around a few times to wet it again. "Ah-I-eh…I don't know what to say, Po-I mean, I…"

"You don't have to say anything. I'm sorry I brought it up…and I'm sorry about what happened between you and Snape that day."

Now he'd really done it. Lily coughed briefly, trying not to choke on her surprise. She noticed his downcast eyes and was quick to ease him of his burden, that being her caring nature. "It wasn't your fault, what happened with Snape and me, Potter. It really wasn't. Clearly he thinks that about everyone like me…I told him, why should I be any different, when he came crawling to apologize. He called me that on his own, Potter, you just…"

"Provoked him to say it?" James asked, his guilty stare boring into her. She swallowed.

"That's not what I was going to say, Potter, I…what I meant was…it was already there in him, and I suppose you did me a favor by making him angry enough to get the nerve to say that to my face. I'm glad it happened when it did, or I'd have wasted even more time with that Death-Eater-to-be. Don't you see? So…I guess…thanks," Lily stammered. James' free fingers worked at his hair again.

"Erm…you're welcome?" he said, less confidently than before. "At least I could get a thanks from you _one _time," he shrugged, chuckling lightly. "That means I'm not _too_ much of an arrogant, bullying toerag, right?"

Lily pressed her lips together and shut her eyes, trying not to laugh. "Maybe," she peeped softly. James allowed a bigger smile to take over then.

"Well, thank _you_," he said happily. Lily warmed inside at his smile. It made her feel better somehow, knowing that they'd had an actual conversation, he'd apologized for something for once, and hadn't asked her out yet. But would he be this way once they were both out of here and around his friends again? Lily didn't know the answer, but at least she could enjoy the company of the more mature James Potter while she was here.

"So, _Potter_," she began inquisitively, "why are you in here?" She gestured at his many bandages.

"We-ell…would you like to guess who expressed his interest in the Dark Arts in a bit too magical way towards me?" he said, his voice holding the slightest teasing tone. It was almost cute, Lily thought. She nodded, understanding who it was.

"He did that to you?" she asked, slightly bewildered at just how far advanced into this realm Snape had gotten. James nodded.

"But, then again, he _did_ walk into our Gryffindor spirit trap. Now he looks almost like a regular Gryffindor…but not even close enough to the real thing. We need to improve on that prank, I believe," he smirked. And for once, Lily giggled.

"That's actually not a bad joke to pull on someone," she laughed. James' jaw dropped in surprise and he put a finger to his ear, faking cleaning it.

"Do my ears deceive me? Did _the_ Lily Evans, public enemy of Marauders number one, just compliment one of their pranks?" he said with dramatic astonishment. Lily chuckled.

"I believe she did, but rumor has it that she's not feeling much like herself right now, either, so those Marauders had better take what approval they _can_ get from her and like it," she said smugly. James' laughter roared through the wing. He tousled his hair, delighted.

"I am perfectly fine with that," he said, looking satisfied. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily's lips shoot into a grin. He looked at her and smiled. "Feeling better?" She smiled in that way she always did when she was really trying to look adorable. Like she needed to.

"M-hmm," she said sweetly.


End file.
